Sensible to keep cash, and accusations, to yourself

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This article was published 27/11/2023 (1012 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I keep some money way in the back of a small drawer in my desk at work. Some people know about the two 20s I always have ready — to go for lunch, for drinks or to buy raffle tickets. I have a big mouth and trust everybody, pretty much. Then, somebody stole my $40, a week before our last payday!

I was so mad I squawked loudly about the theft, and kept watching people close to me. Then, the money magically returned to the same spot in my drawer this payday. I have a strong hunch who stole my cash, but I don’t know for sure. Should I just ask the guy? What if he’s innocent? If I’m wrong, I could lose a friend who sits close to me at work. If I’m right? I still lose a friend.

— Itching to Know, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Itching: Asking the guy you suspect, with no evidence to back up your accusation, is a bad idea! Keeping all your money on your person from now on, however, makes good sense. You should also think about quietly reporting the problem to the person in charge of your office. It may be part of a larger theft situation happening.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been in love with my married boss for a few years, and now she’s finally dumped her useless husband. I’m so excited and I don’t know what to do now. I’ve always thought she had a secret thing for me — I’m a single guy, six years younger.

We’ve worked many evenings together, on big creative projects, and she’s always very excited by my ideas. Sometimes she’ll grab me and give me a hug! I’ll have wild dreams afterwards.

I feel like I want to confess my feelings for her — but only if I know she feels the same. If she doesn’t, it could get very awkward and then what about this job I love?

— Dangerous Situation, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Dangerous: What if you don’t confess your feelings, and she feels she can’t confess hers, because she’s your boss? The feelings might still be mutual. So, take a chance. If your feelings don’t match up — tell her you’ll mop up your tears, and remain friends, with no illusions.

That may not be enough for one or both of you. If it’s too hard working together after that confession, it’d be kind and classy of your boss to help you find a similar or better job, or at least give you references, as she does love your creative ideas.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old love of mine — newly single after a marriage to an investment guy who has big money. He had an affair, and broke her heart. I guess he felt pretty guilty, because he settled out giving a lot of money to her. You should see the car she drives, and her condo building!

I took her out for dinner and she insisted on paying, because she has more money, and she knew I’d give her a listening ear. She told me the whole, sad story. Now she’s started phoning me at night like I’m her new best friend — make that “free shrink.” I really don’t want that role, but I don’t know what role I do want, if any. She’s is still very beautiful and sexy. What do you think?

— Her ex-BF, The Maples

Dear ex-BF: “Beautiful and sexy” wears off pretty fast when you’re being used. It takes a lot of nerve on your ex-GF’s part, to start using an old love as a free counsellor.

To be fair, it might have been entertaining for you to hear how this guy cheated on her, but that’s about it. Tell her frankly you’re not trained to play any sort of counsellor role, and gently suggest she use some of her financial settlement to get the best help possible.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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