Don’t take sister’s love life quite so seriously

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This article was published 28/11/2023 (1005 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My sister — a recent widow — has a crush on a local clergyman. The poor man took serious vows, including chastity. She makes sport of her passionate feelings for him, though I know they’re real. I’m afraid some of her jokes are going to get back to him, because she is very funny in front of her girlfriends. Honest to God, she could be on TV!

But if this dear, sweet man finds out she’s making fun of her crush on him, he’s going to feel like the butt of her jokes. How can I get her off this fixation and back into real life, where maybe she could find a man who could actually marry?

— Shaking My Head, rural Manitoba

Dear Shaking My Head: Your sister isn’t ready to look for a new husband and won’t be for a while, so she’s fooling around and acting goofy. But your sister’s clowning shows you she’s found the medicine she needs more of — which is comedy.

You can join in her healing process by finding her comics online she’ll enjoy, and maybe some night by taking her to a multi-act amateur comedy night in the city, and see if that might be something she’d enjoy getting up and trying herself! She may just need a little extra support from you in exploring a new passion.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My fiancé’s younger brother from Alberta seemed so easy to get along with at our first meeting on his parents’ farm. He agreed with everything I said! Soon, I ended up alone in a truck with him on the way to town on an errand for the big family party. But as soon as we were out of the farmyard, he started going on about how “beautiful and sexy” I was, and how lucky his brother always was, and how he could never get a break like that.

Then he said loudly his brother is the “favourite” son and always gets everything. He sounded weird — kind of “off.” I looked at him suspiciously and said, “Have you been drinking?” and he said, “I’ve never been more sober in my life!” Then he started looking at my eyes and body in a weird, unfocused way, and I suddenly realized maybe he was high on something.

I suddenly remembered my self-defence course and yelled, “Stop the truck. I’m going to throw up!”

That freaked him out and he slammed on the brakes. I got out and ran across the ditch and back through the field to the farmyard and quickly told my fiancé what happened!

He phoned his brother on his cell, spoke one sentence to him and his brother was soon back with the truck — and then burning it back to the city in his own car. He is not coming to our wedding — and the brothers are at war again. It’s not the first time.

There’s something wrong with that younger brother. Here’s my scary thought: Am I a fool to marry into this family and have children with a bad bloodline?

— My Fiancé’s Brother is Sick, southern Manitoba

Dear My Fiancé’s Brother: This younger brother’s jealousy, anger and acting out may be down to emotional problems, compounded by drugs, if what you suspect is true.

Mental and emotional problems can sometimes be passed down, but they can also arise from life experiences. You and your fiancé need to have some serious talks, and include his parents in them. You could also speak privately with your physician about your hereditary concerns.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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