Solo test flight clearly underscores root issue

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This article was published 01/12/2023 (1074 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband says I’m a worrywart — no fun at all. I don’t drink or gamble like he does, and when he comes home from the casino, I don’t want to have sex with him.

I became so upset with our life I told him I was taking a month off and going to visit my sister in Dauphin for the whole month of September.

Within three weeks I was off my nerve pills because I didn’t need them anymore. I know what that means, but now I’m back home, tense and upset again.

I’m dying to pack up and go back to Dauphin. I love that place! My sister, who is easygoing and knows my situation, has asked me to move in with her.

My useless husband doesn’t enjoy me. He only enjoys gambling machines. I have no idea how much money of ours he’s lost at the casinos, although he claims he always breaks even. Ha, what a lie. He loves being out there in the gambling world.

I can easily get a job where my sister works (she is a nurse). What do I owe my husband now, and more importantly, what do I owe myself? Should I go?

— Glimpsing New Life, Transcona

Dear Glimpsing: Do you want your husband back if he quits gambling, or has that shipped sailed? If it has, you and your husband should pursue a divorce. It would be helpful, but not necessary, to know if your husband has a girlfriend in the background.

You’ll need two lawyers for the divorce. Yours could be in Winnipeg or in Dauphin. Start looking for a job there now, so you and your sister can split expenses, and you won’t be leaning on her for any length of time.

It’s time to build a new and happy life, and you’re lucky you know where you want to go do that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend that I started seeing in the spring is an animal collector. She lives rent-free in a house on the edge of her parents’ farm property. Every day after work and all day on weekends, she nurses a menagerie of abandoned animals and finds some of them new homes. As long as I fitted into this scenario, she loved me in every way.

We had an amazing love life all summer and in early fall. But now I need to be in the city a lot more, as soon as the permanent snow comes, and can no longer act as the unpaid male “nurse.”

The truth is I’m tired of it. I told her this on the weekend and she went cold. She stopped looking me in the eye and went into the bathroom. She came out with red eyes.

She told me to go home because she needed to be alone. She hasn’t been answering her phone the last few days. What does she want — a boyfriend or a vet nurse? That’s what I asked her last time we talked. No answer from her.

— Missing Her Warm Love, South St. Vital

Dear Missing: This woman needs a partner who happily offers his daily help with the animals because he cares about them, just like she does. Hopefully, she can find a guy soon who lives closer and is also crazy about animals.

So, have the final talk and set her free so she can try to realize that situation before the winter cold really sets in.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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