Help wobbly, warbling mom bask in limelight

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This article was published 07/12/2023 (1019 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Help! My mother is coming to visit us for Christmas and says she can’t wait to go out singing in the Winnipeg bars again! She loves live-band karaoke, as she used to sing on stage way back, when she still had a decent voice. Drinking and smoking were hard on it. She dragged me out to one event last Christmas — and it was totally embarrassing.

She got pretty bombed before it was her turn to sing. Then she sang loudly and partly off-key. Worse, she didn’t want to get off that stage. She told everybody she was my mom, and tried to call me up, to sing with her. No way — I will shoot myself before I go with her to another one of these events!

Now I’m getting sweaty just thinking about mom staying at my place for a whole week. I just called my younger sister. She said, “Mom can stay at my house for half the time she’s here, but no way I’m taking her out singing!” Please give me some suggestions to get through this without a horrible blowup.

I do love my mother, though it may not sound like it.

— Worried Son, St. Vital

Dear Worried: To relieve your anxiety, do something that might sound crazy at first. Research the kind of places your mom would enjoy going — the specific dates and times. Then send her the list!

Let her know the pub scene was wrong for you last year and you aren’t doing it again. Then tell her she needs to line up some old music buddies (social media platforms like Facebook could help) to go out with her when she gets here.

You can help her most by finding out where the best events for her are located. Chances are she’ll have a much better time without you there, frowning your disapproval. Tell her you’ll be happy to pay for her cabs, so she gets there and back safely, and follow through on it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend’s December birthday is coming up and I want to give her a gift that’s beautiful and exciting to her.

We’re not talking about getting engaged, because we’re too young, but she’s been hinting she wants something she can show off to her older sisters. She says, “They think they’re so hot!” But what if get her something, and she doesn’t like it?

Should I take her shopping and see what she likes, or just totally surprise her? Should I tell her I have $200 saved up to spend on her, or not say anything about money? I need some help!

— Wanting to Surprise Her, Winnipeg

Dear Wanting to Surprise: A total surprise can be a bomb if you read the person wrongly. For instance, you could buy a gorgeous bracelet or pair of earrings on your budget of $200, but there’s no point if she might not like the style.

So, go out Christmas shopping together. Look at all kinds of things together so you get a good idea of specific things that excite her from jewelry to music, clothing styles and colours, even electronics. Do a general sweep of shops in the mall, but don’t buy right then and there.

Instead, go for a bite or drink afterwards and talk. Ask your girlfriend questions about the things she seemed to like and you’ll learn a lot about her tastes. As for your budget, you can hint, but don’t give a specific dollar amount.

Then slip back another time and buy her the gift you really know she’ll love. Also pick up personally appropriate card and write genuinely in it. Girlfriends have a tendency to keep cards with sweet words in a special place, and some hold onto them for a whole lifetime!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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