Not out of line to invite your ex-partner as well

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This article was published 16/12/2024 (656 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new live-in girlfriend, who loves a social drink or three, is all about saying, “Peace on Earth — and pass the eggnog.” Oh, how she loves to party.

In fact, she extends the holiday season with her famous Boxing Day party called the “Indoor Olympic Games” — with crazy competitions, donated prizes from everybody invited, a bartender making fancy drinks and lots of food.

Unfortunately for my happy mood today, she left her computer open last night to her party invitation list. It ticked me off. She had included her long-term boyfriend from just before me, and had already sent out his invitation.

I can’t stand this guy. I used to play on some of the same hockey teams with him. He’s a jerk and a bully. He nicknamed me after one of Santa’s reindeer because I’d get a shiny red nose in the cold.

She had saved his reply to her invitation, that read, “Yes of course, cutie. My girlfriend and I will be there. Wouldn’t miss one of your Boxing Day parties.”

I’m mad. Being a competitive grown-up, should I now invite my most recent ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend? I know she would come. She dumped me, so no pain on her end, and she would be very interested to get a look at my new woman and our new place.

— “Rudolph,” Fort Richmond

Dear Rudolph: This party could be a big test of the strength of your new relationship. By including her recent ex, she has to know that could be hurtful for you.

Being a competitive guy, you obviously want to even things up. So why not invite your most recent ex and her date? Then casually mention you did so to your new love. What can she say? She’s already done it herself for this very same party.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had to go to the mall in a hurry, and my boots were still snowy and icy. I slid and did the splits, cursing my head off as I came through the doors. I was roundly shushed by the people in the entrance.

But the woman behind me called me a familiar naughty name and laughed out loud. I muttered something funny in her direction and she roared. I recognized her crazy laugh.

She started yelling, “I know you,” and said my full name. It was my old love from years ago. We were a couple of bad actors in high school.

We went out for lunch that day — we’re both single again — and we have renewed our old romance. What a Christmas miracle. They say, “All things happen for a reason” and I think that’s usually nonsense. Or is it?

— Wishful Thinker, North End

Dear Wishful: If you’re in the mood for fun, romance, magic or crazy coincidences, those things do seem to happen more often in places with a happy, upbeat feeling.

Look at what just happened to you. Doing the splits may have hurt you somewhat, but it was a slapstick comedy performance to your amused ex-girlfriend.

Then came full recognition — boom. You had “magically” appeared in front of her — a special old boyfriend. And now you’re back together romantically.

It’s true that people are generally more emotional during the holiday season, for better or worse. When they’re out at stores, concerts and public places, the surrounding music is happy and upbeat, setting an inspiring mood. With a background like that, you’re more likely to attract some “magic.” And, you did.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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