A little forethought might help bust your humbug

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/12/2024 (640 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend loves Christmas, and I don’t! I realized yesterday, when she went on and on about outdoor holiday light displays, it was an “Oh no, here we go again” situation for me.

I just kind of growled at her, but I can’t bear to lose one more woman over my negativity.

I’m actually crazy about this giddy woman. So I’m “trying to please” this time around. And now, I can’t believe I just phoned her and promised to take her on a Christmas lighting tour.

What I’m afraid of is a hit-or-miss situation, where we spend way too much time searching the streets for one decent display. Deep down, I guess I don’t want to be out there anyway. That will just set off a bad mood for me, and then for both of us! Can you help?

— Retiring Scrooge, West Kildonan

Dear Scrooge: You need a plan, so you can pick up your mate and sweep her off to see the best lighting displays, with confidence they’ll be easy to find.

To make it easy to find great displays, check out the Winnipeg Christmas Map on Facebook which lists over 100 local addresses, with fun lighting displays, and tons of quirky outdoor decorations. That makes it easy to pre-plan a route, not too far from your home.

On the big night, first hit a drive-through for drinks and treats for you and your girlfriend. Then be willing to get out of the car at the best exhibits, and dance together at the musical ones. Be sure to take photos of the two of you at the best displays. Old friends and family might not believe you actually did this, so you’ll have proof.

You might even have such a good time that it becomes part of your annual Christmas fun. So much for old Scrooge!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: What is my safest bet for a gift for the mother of the first guy I’ve ever truly loved? I’ll be seeing his mom’s face when she opens my gift. Yikes, pass the valium!

We’ll be opening gifts together Christmas Day. Will she be pleased, wince at my taste or gush in a phoney way when she doesn’t really mean it?

I’m worried, because my last boyfriend’s mom didn’t like my taste in anything. This time, I’m trying not to blow it.

— Nervous New Girlfriend, East Kildonan

Dear Nervous: Ask your boyfriend what colours his mom likes to wear. Then buy her a beautiful silky scarf that will go well with her favourites. There’s no need to pay a bundle for real silk, but make sure the scarf is definitely silky to the touch. Wrap the gift yourself, with lots of ribbon and a beautiful Christmas card attached. That should do the trick.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend wants to go to a sunny island in the new year, and I told her to pick one. Big mistake! She picked an island where I have a past love. I’m afraid to go near it. My ex is still there and works at a bar.

With my luck, that’s exactly where my girlfriend will probably want to go! I spent enough time down there at one time, that word will get around as soon as I hit town. Help please!

— Feeling Weird, Winnipeg

Dear Feeling Sick: Sometimes the only way people can get over a major love, is to stay far away from them. You’ve managed to get over this old ex, for the most part. It’s a very good thing you don’t live close to her. Don’t push your luck now!

Tell your present girlfriend you won’t go back to that island because you have bad memories from a relationship there. Then suggest two or three other places you’d enjoy taking her, and stick to your guns. She doesn’t need to know too much about what happened years ago, except that you don’t need any reminding.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography