Don’t fear reaching out to folks, post-meltdown

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/04/2025 (496 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can’t afford to live alone, but I’m feeling sicker by the day, living a lie. My fiancé says goodnight and then goes off and spends hours after midnight in his secret room in the basement, chatting about sex under a made-up name. I’ve listened at the door and it’s pretty freaky.

I have one female spy I know in his online world, so I found out where he goes online, for his weird late-night entertainment.

I have listened at his locked door and he sounds sexually obsessed when he’s online.

Now what do I do? I want to leave him. I already know I’ll have to sneak out with one suitcase because my partner works from home a lot, like I do. I don’t know what to tell my parents, but I really need a rescue.

When I left home, I broke my dad’s heart. I told him and my mom this guy loved me to the moon and back and would take care of me. They looked suspicious and upset — and for good reason, it turns out.

Now what do I tell my dad? Help.

— His Baby Made a Mistake, North End

Dear Baby: Grown kids in families can make some bad mistakes, but a parent is not going to judge when they hear them say: “This is what’s going on now. You were right and I was wrong. Now I’m scared and I need help, please.”

The biggest mistake you could make would be not reaching out for help when you know you’re in a bad situation. Most parents want to protect their children, no matter what their age.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw my old girlfriend going into a movie theatre. I quickly grabbed my ticket and called her name before the movie started. She sounded delighted to see me.

We went into the movie and sat together and had a lot of laughs.

When we came out of the movie, I jokingly asked her if she remembered why we broke up and she said it was because I never had a job and she always had to pay for everything.

Then she laughed and added, “I can afford to take myself to the movies now and have popcorn too.”

I laughed, but it wasn’t very funny. Why did she have to say it that way to me?

I’m older now and have a job and can afford anything on a date, but she still had to give me a kick in the stomach about the popcorn and the past.

— Don’t Get It, River Heights

Dear Don’t Get it: Your old girlfriend was still carrying some unexpressed resentment and she finally got a chance to let it out. It’s likely she felt better — but you felt worse.

You know what that behaviour says about her? She’s not a person who has the guts to say what she really feels when she feels it, but it will come out later.

Be glad she’s not your wife. You would never know what was going to come at you or when. That’s not a fun way to live.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography