Step forward with hard evidence on groom thief

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was in a washroom stall at a nightclub when I heard someone familiar talking to her girlfriend at the sinks. To my shock, I learned a certain guy I know had a date with a woman several of us refer to as the “Groom Stealer.” She prides herself on purloining grooms for a fling just days before the wedding. It’s definitely a “mean girl” sport.

I actually recorded most of the conversation on my phone and I’m thinking about giving the bride-to-be a heads-up.

Should I send the recording to her secretly or should I reveal who I am, and hand it to her?

— Witness to Nastiness, Winkler

Dear Witness: There’s nothing creepier than getting an anonymous tip that someone is going to do something bad to hurt you. One would hope the woman (you!) who overheard this nasty plan would quietly get in touch and give her a chance to talk to her fiancé and address the “crime” before it’s actually committed.

Some would argue the groom-to-be actually needs to have done the deed with this thief before anything should be said. But there’s a lot more to be said in favour of prevention — especially due to the fact you have recorded proof.

So, quietly get in touch with the bride, tell her who you are and arrange to meet her. Tell her what you overheard in the bathroom at the club and then give her the recording. She’ll hopefully take it from there. She may know exactly who’d want to sabotage the wedding in this way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a stare-down with a wolf-like creature I surprised in the bush recently, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. It looked like a wolf — kind of grey and dog-like, with beautiful eyes, but not at all tame-looking.

Then I spoke to him quietly, and he kept looking at me. Finally, he blinked and then turned and quietly walked away. I have dreamed about him every night since. I told my best friend, and she said she was jealous!

Does this mean anything? Was it a sign of something to come in the future? Did I do the right thing?

— Freaky Experience, Interlake

Dear Freaky: It turned out well for both of you, thankfully! You did the right thing when encountering a wild animal you sensed could be scary. You didn’t run like prey would and you didn’t yell or scream or try to hit him with something, like an enemy. You were calm and spoke quietly, and just looked at each other. He judged you not to be a problem, turned his back and walked away. You behaved intelligently. Congratulations!

Does this chance encounter mean anything? No, not other than demonstrating you are a smart, unflappable woman who will probably do well with whatever the future holds for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just met a lovely woman who has big plans to help organize a large family reunion this summer at a relative’s cottage. We just started dating, but I don’t know if we’ll still be seeing each other when August comes.

I don’t really feel like getting involved in this reunion if our relationship isn’t going to work out. I could lose the summer of 2025 and summers are precious in Manitoba. I was ready to tell her that, but I realized she might think I’m a jerk and dump me on my head.

I don’t want to be dumped. I mean, I recognize possible wife material when I see it — affectionate, fun, great sex together, laughs easily, has a good job, wants kids. It’s all there.

I just don’t want to end up being her errand boy for three months before this big reunion for a bunch of people I don’t know — and then possibly get discarded after months of free help. What if I waste the whole summer?

— Summer Bummer? North Kildonan

Dear Summer Bummer: People sometimes yell “jump!” at friends who can swim, but are hesitating on the pier, even though they really want to jump and are aware the water isn’t deep. Their knees are knocking and they’re talking themselves out of it.

Don’t be that kind of guy in a new romance. Give this fledgling relationship your best try, and if you don’t want to continue doing it after a while (like a month), you can inform your mate you’re not into continuing the relationship. Then you can head off saying to yourself, “Well, at least I tried.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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