Don’t expect your two-lover setup to last long

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have an odd kind of personality and I’m in love with two very different women.

I love my wife here in Manitoba (comfortably and forever) and the regular sex is good enough. It’s all about loving each other, but there are no fireworks.

My sales work takes me out west a lot, and out there I have another woman I lust for big time. We totally amaze each other when we share sexual adventures. When I’m staying at a hotel and she’s visiting, I cross-dress and we have a wild time until the wee hours. We definitely explore some kinky outer limits.

Still, I’m always genuinely excited to come home to see my wife again, as she is beautiful in many ways and very sensual — with candles all over the bedroom to welcome me. We have a tender, romantic kind of love.

But last week my wife hinted about knowing more than she has let on. I just pretended to be interested in something on TV, but it’s really bothering me. I don’t want to discuss it because I might lose her. I wonder how much she’s already figured out. What should I do? Can I keep juggling both, or am I headed for catastrophe?

— Nervous, Winnipeg

Dear Nervous: It’s come to the point where you can’t juggle both your wife and your lover. Your wife suspects you’ve been straying, so be prepared for a showdown over your cheating. However, spare her the kinky details, as the images in her mind might needlessly hurt her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: As a surprise, I rented a cabin for my husband and kids at a lake I really like. I budgeted for it by saving up for a year.

But when I told my husband about it, he was so angry. He said, “You just got your way by tricking me. You know I wanted to go to my favourite lake this year and you didn’t even discuss it with me.”

Now what? My husband is sulking like a great big baby.

— In the Doghouse? St. Boniface

Dear Doghouse: You tricked your husband needlessly, so why not throw in some money to rent another one for a week or so at your husband’s favourite spot?

Then he can invite other family members from his side and they might even rent a place there as well for part of the time. This could be the most enjoyable summer of your lives if you two can get past the needless fighting and have double the fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m really enjoying my life since ending my marriage to a guy who enjoyed a good book more than coming to bed and making love with his wife.

Unfortunately, this is a small world and his cousin — an athletic and passionate man — and I have since fallen deeply in love. I got invited to the annual family baseball tournament in June. He is one of the best pitchers and I’m excited about going out with him, though it’s thought by some prudes to be too soon after ending my marriage.

Now I find out my ex-husband is refusing to come to the tournament because I will be there with his cousin. The pressure is on, but my new man and I want to go. Why should we be ostracized because his cousin was married to me and blew it? What do you think?

— Dying to Play, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Dying to Play: Sooner or later everyone in the whole family will start attending the big tournament again, so go. Why not get the first difficult event over with?

The added tension when either of your two men come up to bat could really add to the atmosphere of this year’s tourney. Don’t back off on going.

Be aware you’ll hear a few cracks from some of your ex’s friends and relatives. Big deal. Just don’t stick around for the boozy partying afterwards. Next year is soon enough for that. Just hope your ex has a new honey by then, and all is forgotten.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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