Urgent love-and-marriage agenda can be frightening

Maureen Scurfield Miss Lonelyhearts
By: Maureen Scurfield Posted:

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My first wife married me in a hurry because she thought she was pregnant with my child, but then she had a miscarriage. We struggled after that and she divorced me within a year. She said she didn’t love me anymore. That cut deep.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/04/2025 (529 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My first wife married me in a hurry because she thought she was pregnant with my child, but then she had a miscarriage. We struggled after that and she divorced me within a year. She said she didn’t love me anymore. That cut deep.

A few weeks ago, I told my new girlfriend everything that happened and that my great wish is to marry and have a kid. Now she’s started stalling.

I can’t win for losing — one woman after the other. What is my problem? I want a real love life and a happy marriage, but I just keep getting myself in trouble.

— Total Screw Up? East Kildonan

Dear Screw Up: Your hasty timeline is scaring women off. You need to relax and look at each new relationship as a friendship with romantic possibilities.

That means taking time to have real conversations and explore all kinds of things together, well before you think about love, marriage and kids.

A man or woman with an urgent agenda like yours makes new people antsy. It causes them to wonder what may be wrong with this person who’s in such a hurry to get serious and get married. Why are they in such a panic?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner is stealing money from me when I’m asleep. It’s not that she needs it — she earns a lot at her job.

I watched her with one eye open last night, going through my pants pockets. I had left nothing in there — not a dime. I heard her swear softly and get back into her side of the bed.

She’s gorgeous and has a very good job, but she’s kind of creeping me out now. If I say something about it, then what? She’ll probably cry and never come back.

How can we fix this? I can’t marry someone who needs to steal. In many other ways, this woman is perfect for me. Help, please.

— Loving a Thief? Portage la Prairie

Dear Loving a Thief: This light-fingered woman is not perfect for you or any partner until she gets help for her need to steal. You should be aware that some people just can’t stop, as it’s impulsive and has nothing to do with need.

You also don’t know if this girlfriend is stealing elsewhere — from stores, friends’ houses or purses slung over chairs in restaurants or bars — but it is likely.

Her stealing habit could end up getting you in serious trouble too, especially if she stashes stolen goods at your place or you both get busted as you walk out of a store or restaurant.

She’s one scary mate to have — dangerous to herself, to you and other people close to her. It’s time to walk.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Related Articles

Don’t expect your two-lover setup to last long Clarify fact and fiction for fibbing daughter Don’t fear reaching out to folks, post-meltdown Marriage was set to self-destruct this way, so cope Take this as last warning to love her, or lose her Cat’s out of the bag, so it’s time to move on Find out what’s behind B-word bemusement Don’t keep flame burning for travelling troubadour Don’t drag things out with poorly matched mate

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Report Error Submit a Tip

Advertisement

Learn more about Winnipeg Free Press Advertising solutions

More Stories

Russell Wangersky / Free Press Spending more than $3 million a year to move 175 rail cars down 13 kilometres of track seems like an unreasonable City of Winnipeg expense.

Wasteful operations should be held accountable

Barry E. Prentice 4 minute read Preview

Wasteful operations should be held accountable

Barry E. Prentice 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Rising water bills are a top-of-mind issue for residents of Winnipeg going into the fall election. Management of the water and waste system is under question, with citizen’s groups, as well as the Free Press, calling for proper oversight of rates (Time for the PUB to review Winnipeg water rates, Editorial, Sept. 26).

The need to increase rates to build the North End sewage plant is understandable. Siphoning off utility proceeds to make up other tax revenue shortfalls is another matter. But it is not the only questionable practice. If there was Public Utilities Board oversight of Winnipeg’s water and sewer rates, it would certainly be asking why the city is spending more than $3 million annually to operate the 164-kilometre-long, Greater Winnipeg Water District railway (GWWD) on ratepayers’ behalf.

The GWWD has come to the attention of the Railway Relocation Study, led by Lloyd Axworthy. All existing rail lines within the city are under review, as is the feasibility of a new railway bypass.

The GWWD is an example of a railway that has outlived its usefulness and sits on a pocket of land close to downtown that could be converted to higher-value uses.

Read
2:00 AM CDT
Jacques Boissinot / The Canadian Press Hydro-Quebec power lines in Levis, Que.

Hydro Québec faces issue we should avoid

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

Hydro Québec faces issue we should avoid

Editorial 4 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

You might be tempted to call it a canary in an electric power generation coal mine.

But instead, it’s just another heads-up into the already-obvious problem with the proliferation of data centres.

This week, Hydro-Québec went before the Régie de l’énergie, Québec’s public utilities board, to change the rules for new and existing large data centres.

Now, it was not that long ago that Hydro Québec was actively wooing data centres — offering bulk power rates to be used to lure labour-intensive, power-hungry heavy industry (think aluminum smelters) with rates substantially lower than they offer Québec’s own residential customers. It was a way to use surplus power to create jobs and drive economic activity.

Read
2:01 AM CDT
FILE -

Tokyo Olympic aftermath still being untangled a year later

Stephen Wade, The Associated Press 6 minute read Preview

Tokyo Olympic aftermath still being untangled a year later

Stephen Wade, The Associated Press 6 minute read Thursday, Jul. 21, 2022

TOKYO (AP) — The Tokyo Olympics survived the COVID-19 postponement, soaring expenses and some public opposition. A year later, the costs and benefits remain as difficult to untangle as the Games were to pull off.

In his speech at the closing ceremony, IOC President Thomas Bach said a major accomplishment of the Games was simply reaching the end.

“We did it,” Bach said. “We did it together," he repeated, crediting the athletes, Japanese government officials, and deep-pocketed broadcasters for refashioning the Games despite no fans, disappointed sponsors, and no buzz around the city.

Organizers said the Games would drive tourism, showcase Japan's technological prowess, and create memories similar to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. The pandemic erased that.

Read
Thursday, Jul. 21, 2022
JOHN WOODS / THE CANADIAN PRESS FILES Carlo Deguzman, 50, pleaded guilty in a Winnipeg courtroom Monday to six counts of fraud, forgery and identification theft for offences dating back more than four years.

Fraudster gets six years in Shoppers Drug Mart case

Dean Pritchard 3 minute read Preview

Fraudster gets six years in Shoppers Drug Mart case

Dean Pritchard 3 minute read Monday, Aug. 10, 2026

A Calgary man has been sentenced to six years in prison for his role in a fraud ring that targeted Shoppers Drug Mart stores across four provinces.

Carlo Deguzman, 50, pleaded guilty in a Winnipeg courtroom Monday to six counts of fraud, forgery and identification theft for offences dating back more than four years.

Deguzman’s guilty pleas came on what was to be the first day of his trial — the third to be set and cancelled since his initial arrest in 2022. During that time, he hired and fired seven lawyers.

“These matters could have been dealt with years ago, but for the actions of the accused,” prosecutor Kathy Bueti told provincial court Judge Heather Pullan. “He was hoping delay would make the case harder to prove. That’s not the case. The charges weren’t going away.”

Read
Monday, Aug. 10, 2026
The election of our discontent

The election of our discontent

Matthew Frank 7 minute read Preview

The election of our discontent

Matthew Frank 7 minute read Yesterday at 2:37 PM CDT

There’s an undercurrent of unhappiness running through the Winnipeg electorate as the municipal election day approaches.

One-half of Winnipeggers believe the city is heading in the wrong direction, according to a new Abacus Data poll, with nearly one-third unsure if Winnipeg is regressing or progressing.

Only 21 per cent of residents believe the city is on the right track, the Free Press-commissioned poll found.

That discontentment extends to how the city spends its tax dollars, with four in 10 Winnipeggers believing they receive poor value for what they pay in property taxes.

Read
Yesterday at 2:37 PM CDT
JOHN WOODS / FREE PRESS FILES The federal government has committed $8.1 million toward the YMCA’s plans to expand community programs and update its century-old Vaughan Street building.

Ottawa commits $8.1 million for downtown Y redevelopment

Kelly-Anne Riess 2 minute read Preview

Ottawa commits $8.1 million for downtown Y redevelopment

Kelly-Anne Riess 2 minute read Monday, Sep. 28, 2026

The federal government is backing a major redevelopment of Winnipeg’s Downtown Y that will expand community programs and update the century-old Vaughan Street building.

On Monday, Ottawa committed $8.1 million toward the Y’s plans to expand newcomer and mental-health programs.

The project will also upgrade elevators, change rooms, aquatics and fitness areas and energy systems. Construction is expected to begin in October, according to the Y’s website.

The YMCA-YWCA is contributing $3.5 million to the project.

Read
Monday, Sep. 28, 2026