New guy’s gauche gift gaff not a great sign

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new boyfriend gave me a glittery peacock scarf I just love. But when I wore it out, it was recognized by a friend of mine who has known my guy for a long time. She said his former girlfriend used to wear the same scarf, and everybody noticed it.

His ex obviously gave it back to him. I really don’t want this scarf now. What does it say about my new boyfriend that he would give me a gift that his ex had returned to him and not even tell me where it came from?

— Don’t Want Old Scarf, East Kildonan

Dear Don’t Want: Your new guy is no good at romantic politics. He should have retired that showy scarf gift when it was thrown back at him. So, give it back to him, and suggest what he should do with it — politely.

Don’t be surprised if it causes an interesting spat where you will learn a lot about his ex-girlfriend as well as his hopes for the you two — if he has any left.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our daughter has had two major boyfriends, and quite a few more she just tried out. The problem is she lets them down so easily when she’s through with them, they continue to contact her.

She’s always on the phone talking to one ex or another. Right now, she’s talking to the latest rejected guy, and she sounds like a social worker.

Plus, she’s trying to hook him up with a friend of hers, who my daughter said would be much more his type and sexier. Yikes. I don’t know where she gets this.

Aren’t kids supposed to take after one of their parents?

Her dad and I don’t know what planet she came from, but she’s unusual and we love her to death. Help.

— No Family Resemblance, Fort Rouge

Dear No Family Resemblance: Sometimes kids take after relatives they were not raised near because it’s simply in their genes.

Other kids imitate an adult outside the family, such as a teacher or a coach, and then graduate to modelling somebody else they suddenly decide to emulate. More rebellious types may try to become the exact opposite of what they were brought up to be. That’s OK.

The trick for parents is to listen well, nod their heads and try not to be too judgmental.

A good opportunity to learn more about your daughter is to ask her questions when she’s driving somewhere with you alone.

So, be open and don’t preach, and you may gain some real insight.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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