Don’t be the penny-pinching party pooper

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We’re just making a big list of the annual gang of visitors who come here to our big cabin to visit at summer’s’ end. They come at the invitation of my wonderful party-loving wife. They love the big cottage-closing experience at our amazing lake.

Mostly, my wife’s sisters come with their half-grown kids and husbands. She has a big diverse family — and we party for several days and nights running. The women love my wife’s generous hosting style.

At night, her sisters take turns babysitting, while the others who want to drink can stay up partying and playing games. Everybody plays musical instruments, too!

However, it costs a lot of money to host this big bash, and we are pretty much pay for everything, every year. I really pitch in, but the others often don’t, because it’s under our roof and they have to travel here.

Still, I told my wife she needs to break it to her family that they need to start choosing a new host each year or else begin chipping in their fair share. She went straight up the wall! She said “no way!” and that they’d take it as a rebuke — like we think they’ve been sponging up to now.

Now she says she’ll just finance everything herself from her own savings, so I can stop counting my pennies! She’s furious at me. What can I do?

— Fair is Fair, Right? Charleswood

Dear Fair is Fair: You’ve stepped in a big one, my friend! Your woman can criticize her own family to you in private, but you don’t get to dictate charging money from the people she loves who are come to your annual party.

Tell her you momentarily “forgot” they are her family and they have probably done some very nice things for her over the years.

Plus, most guests likely bring a dish or contribute to the events in ways you may not know about. No need to charge money at the door!

You can bet your mate wants family and friends to feel welcome and to keep coming back to your famous “goodbye-summer” parties, so don’t discourage it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend — the guy I will marry if he asks me — says he wants to name the puppy he’s getting soon after his recently-deceased mother. It’d be a “cute nickname” his mom had as a child.

I think it might really hurt for him — especially when he’s calling the pup to him in the beginning! What do you think?

— Sensitive to Nicknames, West Kildonan

Dear Sensitive: Ask your boyfriend about that possibility gently — and then let it go.

If he says it’ll be just fine with him, it may be a non-issue. It might just be a really amusing name for him to choose.

If it does turn out to bother him, he can always change it and the young pooch will have no problem learning to respond to its new moniker.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography