Best for business to let bygones be bygones

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This article was published 09/04/2025 (546 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: An old boyfriend of mine just got hired at the company where I work. Did he know I was working here? Will we get stuck working on projects together now? I’m freaking out.

We met in university and had a little romance that didn’t end well for him. I cheated on him, to be honest. He soon found himself a better job and moved to Toronto, but now he’s back here and married.

I don’t know if he went after this job or they headhunted him, but I know he definitely has the qualifications for it. I feel rattled having him here in the office. I also feel embarrassed because I wasn’t very nice to him at the end of our relationship, and I never apologized.

He’s going to be working above me in the hierarchy. Should I apologize for the way I treated him or just pretend nothing happened between us? I thought I might get away with saying, “You’re looking well. Congratulations on getting the job here.”

— Awkward at Work, Transcona

Dear Awkward: Good sportsmanship is definitely what’s called for when you end up suddenly working with an ex. If he tries to get your breakup out in the open, just say, “That’s water under the bridge. Welcome aboard.”

It might be hard to keep the fact you used to be a duo covered up at work, but no one’s going to fuss if you act professionally towards each other. People will see it as a non-issue unless you dwell on it — so don’t.

Also, with him in a position above you, don’t overdo the compliments to try to smooth things over. Be friendly and businesslike.

He will probably pick up on that and start relaxing around you — which is exactly what you two need.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I spotted a woman driving what was definitely my unique old European roadster I sold a couple years ago, and waved her over.

She asked what the problem was, and I said there wasn’t a problem, I just wanted to say hello to my old car and ask how she was driving.

She said, “Fine, but it’s a car, not a human, and if you don’t mind, I’ll just keep going.”

Then she gunned it, and took off.

Why did she treat me like a weirdo?

I loved that little car like a baby, but my wife made me give it up because we already had two cars.

It’s not weird to have love for a certain car, is it?

I made a lot of memories in that car when I was single — it was like one of the boys.

— Peeved at Attitude, St. James

Dear Peeved: Some people have cars that they become personally attached to — even love.

That often happens when one is young and it’s a first car, or they’re older and it’s their dream car. In some cases, they might have worked on restoring it themselves, or they saved up and spent all the extra money they had on it.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving your car. She just may have been surprised and felt uncomfortable with a stranger stopping her, but she probably didn’t need to make fun of somebody who has a soft spot for something they hold dear.

We can love all kinds of things besides humans — such as a car, a beautiful piece of clothing or a musical instrument — and sometimes they’re actually more reliable.

You’re not crazy for having those feelings towards your old car. The woman who scorned you was rather insensitive.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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