Don’t drag things out with poorly matched mate

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I need to end the relationship with my boyfriend I met last fall — a total computer nerd. He’s all about playing games indoors all year round and he certainly doesn’t take pride in his body. I’m into outdoor sports and play tennis and baseball in the spring and summer. I also enjoy swimming, water-skiing and fishing.

I also like to hit the beach and party in the summertime and I also really adore making love under the stars.

I still care for my computer guy since he’s a sweet guy. I don’t want to hurt him, but how can I let him down gently?

— Itching to Cut Loose, Fort Garry

Dear Itching: There is no such thing as “gently” when you break a person’s heart. You’re not crazy in love with this guy and you want to free yourself to be able to meet other people this summer.

Maybe the truth is what he needs to hear now, so he can get over you faster and find someone who thinks he’s great and isn’t just faking it with him until summer’s over.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m working on a building project in a provincial park and have a secret crush on a gorgeous store clerk.

I don’t imagine she would be interested in me, but the vision of her eyes and face stays with me at night when I’m trying to get to sleep.

My co-worker who’s rooming with me knows about this crush I have. He’s checked around on her status and she’s definitely free.

Now, action is required on my part and I have no excuse not to ask her out, but how, when I’m so shy? How can I just walk up to her in the store where she works and introduce myself? I don’t know her except to stare at her and say “hi” when she catches me.

I’m a slow starter, but I know from past relationships I’m a good in bed, so I’m confident when it gets down to that, but I just can’t make myself go into her store alone and hustle her.

— Shy Guy, Whiteshell

Dear Shy Guy: Some shy guys need a buddy to work with them in a bit of a staged setup.

Here’s one that can work: your friend walks into the store just ahead of you and says something goofy to your fair lady.

Then you walk up with a mock-stern look on your face and say, “Is my buddy bothering you? I’ll happily get him out of here for you.”

Then the ice is broken and you’re chatting. You quickly introduce yourself and say why you’re in town and for how long.

At that point, your buddy suddenly “remembers” something he has to check into and says, “I’ll be back.”

Then, if the store clerk is into it, you may be able to have a little get-acquainted chat and ask her about some fun things to do in the area.

As you’re leaving (don’t linger too long there and make things awkward) say, “Nice talking to you and hopefully I’ll see you again.”

After that, leave things for a couple days before going back for more chit chat.

If it seems like she’s interested, ask her if she might like to go for a coffee or show you around the community.

Good luck, Romeo!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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