You already know how this old story ends

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently received a letter with a note on the outside that said to open it when I was alone — so I played along. I knew it was from my ex-girlfriend because she loves mind games.

Inside was a selfie she took from above — featuring her two best assets — while lying on a bed. She won — I was turned on again. She looked sexy and beautiful like she did when we first got together.

During our relationship, all that changed when she got bored with “us” and started stuffing her body with junk food and wearing baggy clothes.

As she got chubbier and unhappier, she took out her anger on me by depriving me of sex.

If I took her back into my life now, I would just be paying for her affection again, as she never has a job. However, since we split I haven’t had anyone else and I’m too shy to go out on the hunt. Please advise.

— Lonely and Tempted, West End

Dear Tempted: Forget about being your ex’s sugar daddy again. You already know how this story will go for you — badly.

Instead, work on yourself in several ways so your next relationship will be better.

First off, hit a gym or enlist a private trainer to get yourself fit and strong physically.

Also consult your doctor to get a recommendation for a good counsellor or therapist to help you build up your confidence, attitude and courage to find a healthier new partner.

If money is a concern, check to see what’s covered by your employer’s health plan.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wicked stepmother, who did her worst to help raise me, is seeing my father again after years apart. I still hate and fear her, plain and simple. She’s a cruel and cold person.

I saw her with my dad at the horse races and it was all I could do to say hello to my father, who was holding her hand. Whatever shreds of respect I had for him finally leaving her are gone again.

I couldn’t even call him dad when I saw them together. I wish I had a stronger father.

Still, I’m proud to be able to say I’m a good dad to my young son and a solid husband. I’m doing OK in my head and heart, but it’s taken me years to totally recover from my childhood. My wife suggests we not go to the track again, since my father loves them and will likely be there. But I love the races too. What do you think?

— Still Upset After, Tuxedo

Dear Still Upset: Don’t give up your horse-racing entertainment but do try to avoid these two people who can drive you up the wall.

You probably know the spot from which your dad and stepmother like to take in the action, so make a point of staying away from there. There are lots of good vantage points at Assiniboia Downs, so you should be able to work something out and still enjoy the races.

Life is much too short for yet another struggle with a pair who can still cause you so much pain. If they come over to say hello, just say, “Hello, it’s a nice evening.” Make sure to have an excuse ready and walk away from them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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