Best to quell curiosity over sister’s hot ex

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This article was published 11/10/2025 (342 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was at the bar recently and caught the eye of the gorgeous guitar player I’ve idolized since I was in Grade 9. He used to come home with my older sister and they’d disappear into the basement guest bedroom and lock the door while Mom was still at work. My sister and I shared a bedroom upstairs.

I never said a word about it to our mother, although I overheard a lot through the heat register connected with the basement bedroom. I used to lie in the room above and imagine it was me down there with him, with the romantic music playing and the weird noises. I guessed they were not playing board games.

She finally dumped him for a cooler guy two years older. I rarely saw the guitar guy again until lately, when his band played at a school dance in June. His black hair is long and sexy now and he plays fantastic guitar and sings great.

But here’s the problem. I caught his attention and gave him my number, and he’s been phoning me. I really want to go out with him, but my sister once told me if I ever went after one of her boyfriends, past or present, she would get me when I was sleeping by cutting my hair off. That scared me.

We both still live at home. My mother won’t let us have locks on our bedroom doors anymore because of “a possible fire” and needing to rescue us.

So, this guy knows I’m hot for him now, and he probably likes the idea of having sex with two sisters and comparing it. I’m no dummy. But he is so hot and I still want him.

— Older Now, Winnipeg

Dear Older Now: You don’t even know this guy as a person. It seems possible you want to have sex with him just to satisfy your curiosity and possibly outdo your older sister.

And why does he want you? Perhaps he likes you a little, but it’s more likely he sees it would be a great way to hurt and disrespect your sister, especially if she got tired of him and broke it off.

In your imagination, try to play this forward. Nothing good will come of you dating this hot musician and having sex with him in the basement room like he did with your sister.

You’ve been curious for years about this, but “curiosity killed the cat” is a well-known saying for good reason. In this situation, it could seriously harm your relationship with your older sister for life.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a guy married to a sporty woman and we used to have a loving and happy relationship. She came to all my baseball and hockey games and cheered like mad.

But then she took up a winter sport at my urging last year — curling — and now she’s crazy about it. That’s great, except she just joined a new mixed league as well and we’ll hardly see each other this winter. That’s led to a distant feeling and some recent fighting.

She likes hockey, but she’ll hardly get to my games now. She adores curling so much that she’s always there and naturally socializes with that gang, and since it’s mixed curling, there are lots of guys, both married and single.

My wife is very attractive and outgoing. I’m seriously worried about winter coming on. I love her so much. I shouldn’t have pushed her into this sports thing so hard. What to do?

— Worried Husband, South End

Dear Worried Husband: Tell your wife you’re concerned about growing apart over serious sports interests and both of you having busy schedules. Tell her how much you love her and want to see her.

Then sit down with both your schedules and start working something out, so you catch each other’s important games. You two also need to have a regular night out, or date lunch once a week, to stay caught up with each other.

If sexual frequency has decreased and you don’t have kids, sex doesn’t have to be a nighttime thing. Likely, there’s a weekend time for a lovers’ lunch and a different kind of “sport” that passionate people like you two would enjoy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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