Flab jabs just bumps in the road to the new you

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/10/2025 (353 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ate myself up 25 pounds after my breakup last spring, and it all landed around my middle. I was downtown recently and a lady in a store looked at my belly, smiled at me and said, “When is the baby due?” I just walked away from her straight out the doors, crying.

Plain and simple, I do look pregnant, and with skinny legs to boot. I talked to my mother about it and she said she has wanted to talk to me about my weight gain but didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

I just can’t get rid of this big belly myself, plus I’m not good at looking up info online and sticking to some plan because it just doesn’t feel real to me. I also don’t want to join a group with a whole bunch of people who were just pregnant. I’m a young woman and I look like I’m several months gone. Please advise.

— Not Pregnant, Just Flabby, St. James

Dear Not Pregnant: Check out the Women’s Health Clinic downtown (womenshealthclinic.org) where they take a “weight neutrality” position and the doctors and other staff there are all women. You will feel supported and experience a refreshing lack of criticism while building a new plan to have a healthier body at whatever weight works for you. You will start to feel much better about yourself in many different ways.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got a phone call from my recent boyfriend’s ex- girlfriend. She was drunk and wanted to run him down with my help. “I wonder if he’s told you about the big financial trouble he’s having,” was her first line.

She wanted to let me know she knew all about his serious money issues and see my shock. I already knew about his financial woes.

I quickly told her to never call me again or I would deafen her with my creep-caller whistle. She said, “Is that a threat?” and I said, “Think what you want” and slammed down the phone.

My mother was eavesdropping on the other house phone, as usual, and said I went too far and could get in legal trouble for threatening bodily damage — even to someone’s hearing. She drives me nuts. I love her, but I can’t stand living with her. She finds ways to listen in to every conversation I have at home on our landline. Help.

— Seriously Stressed, River Heights

Dear Stressed: You need new, more-supportive people at the core of your life. You also need to totally back off your ex and this other woman of his. They are both trouble for you and those good times are all gone.

Also, stop making and taking calls your mother can pick up on another phone in the house.

Are you old enough to move out? If so, ask a good friend with a decent job to be your roommate. If you don’t already have a job, find one. Anything will do for now, as long as it helps you start living like an adult without an eavesdropping mom.

Then you’ll stop feeling so nervous and scared, and be able to start planning your life for the way you want and to enjoy it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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