Home strife could turn out to be a blessing

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This article was published 24/10/2025 (311 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My recently-widowed grandmother, who was living with us while her house was being prepared for sale, started staying over at her new boyfriend’s condo a lot. My mother has been making a rude fuss behind her back.

I heard her say to my father last night, “What if they’re having sex?” My dad said, “Well, of course they’re having sex, and that’s great.”

I heard my mother snort.

Then my dad added, “Look, your mother had to worry about you going out with me, and we did get pregnant.”

Grandma happened to be standing in the hallway then, and said, “I heard that — all of it.” She’s a feisty one.

That was it for her. Now she is moving in with her new man. She says her old house will be up for sale soon anyway. She and her new guy love skiing and are already planning a trip to the Rocky Mountains at Christmas and another to a Quebec resort a month or so later.

They asked me if I would like to stay in their condo while they’re gone, and she’ll sell her house in the spring. I asked if my boyfriend could stay with me for company, and my grandma said she was fine with that.

Mom has been hitting the roof over that, and she’s crude about it. I can’t stand it.

I’m moving in with my boyfriend right away. Do you have any advice for us?

— Not Taking Insults, East Kildonan

Dear Not Taking Insults: This big life adventure is happening quickly, ironically pushed along by your mother. However, try to relax. In the best-case scenario, it could work out well for everybody.

Your mom and dad will have their home back with privacy, which might help them with getting their own love and sex relationship back together. Meanwhile, you and your grandmother will be having fun adventures with your romantic partners.

If things don’t go well enough with your boyfriend, have a roommate in mind, such as a close girlfriend or a cousin, in case you have to find another place. There’s nothing like having alternate plans to make you feel secure and confident.

Moving back home with your parents should not be on your list. That’s what “kids” do and you don’t want to be treated like the kid who blew it and had to come home again with your tail between your legs.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife can work a long shift, come home, fall face-first onto her pillow and be dead asleep, like she sleepwalked from the car. She scares me.

We are a new happily married couple who adore each other. I don’t want to lose her ever, and certainly not from her driving home half-asleep and crashing her car on the way.

What do you suggest? We have no kids, and money is not an issue — we’re both professionals.

But in my situation, I cannot drive her to work and back as our schedules and workplaces make it impossible.

— Loving My Sleep Walker, West St. Paul

Dear Loving: First, your wife needs to talk to her physician about seeing a neurologist as her sleeping situation is unusual and presents difficulties and risks. You may have to push this pretty hard.

As for right now — like this week — set your loved one up with temporary means for safe transportation any time of the night or day, a potential injury- or life-saving present.

Maybe there’s a close friend or relative you could hire to help, or else set her up with a ride-sharing app with all necessary details and payment methods registered so it’s easy for her to use when she needs it.

Too many people drive to work half-awake and back home so tired they’re only half present, endangering themselves and other drivers.

Consider your action on this an important investment — both in her life and your happiness, and a gift to everybody else on the roads she presently takes to work and back.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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