Some introspection can help break strife-sex cycle

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know why my girlfriend won’t see me face-to-face anymore. It’s because we can’t help but be sexual — both her weakness and mine — and we never end up working out the problems between us.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/08/2025 (381 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know why my girlfriend won’t see me face-to-face anymore. It’s because we can’t help but be sexual — both her weakness and mine — and we never end up working out the problems between us.

Even after we can’t agree on anything at all and have had a big fight, it’s ended up with great sex. That’s how we are. (We are both women, by the way.)

Last week it seemed to really fall apart. She told me she’d had enough of my nonsense and has moved out to her cabin on Lake Winnipeg for the rest of the summer.

She says she’s working remotely. Do I even believe that? I really need to see her and look into her eyes, to find out.

She’s not even picking up her phone regularly. I asked her if I could visit, so we could finish talking things over, and she said no because it was too soon. I was shocked.

This relationship is just wearing me out, but I can’t seem to move on. When things are good, we have the hottest physical connection, but we still fight too much.

— Sick of Fighting, Wolseley

Dear Sick of Fighting: This fighting dynamic is burning your relationship out. Your mate is telling you in every way she can that she’s had enough.

It’s time to use a different tactic — accept that you do need to keep your distance and consider seeing a relationship counsellor or a psychologist for a few visits. Your mate will be curious to know what’s being discussed.

Let her do most of the phoning or messaging to you until she comes back to the city. Let her have time to miss you and think about what’s going on. Be a little mysterious.

It can be lonely at the lake, especially in August when people are heading home to get kids ready for school, so give yourself time to get your head straightened out and see if you still want her back in your life.

It’s time to stop apologizing and take back some of your power.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have somehow ended up in a romantic mess at the restaurant where I work and I really need to keep this great part-time job after the summer. I never should have started dating someone from work, but it was kind of a thrill. And then, I dated a second employee.

Now both relationships are over and we are all still working together — and I am feeling pretty awkward. Help please.

— Balancing Act, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Balancing Act: These little workplace romances have been just a summertime adventure for you, but you want to keep your job, so you must get over yourself. Be extra respectful and stay friendly with both co-workers.

They may be moving on to heavy workloads at school or something else this fall, but they too may want to keep on working there. Let’s hope you were just a summer diversion to them as well, and they are fine staying friendly co-workers with you.

It’s all about co-operation and helping one another when you’re working for tips.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Allen misses out on league MVP award

Taylor Allen 2 minute read Preview

Allen misses out on league MVP award

Taylor Allen 2 minute read 1:30 PM CDT

Winnipeg Sea Bears guard Teddy Allen has come up short in his bid to win a second career CEBL Most Valuable Player award.

The league revealed its award winners Thursday, with Scarborough Shooting Stars guard Myles Powell taking home the MVP honours over Allen who was the finalist out of the Western Conference.

Powell, who was also named the Clutch Player of the Year with nine target score winners, averaged 22.9 points, 3.3 rebounds and 4.5 assists while leading Scarborough to a historic 20-4 record.

Allen, the 2023 CEBL MVP during his first stint in Winnipeg, led the league in scoring with 27.8 points while also contributing 7.5 rebounds, 3.5 assists and 2.0 teals per game. The Sea Bears went 14-10 to finish second in the West before going on to win the CEBL title.

Read
1:30 PM CDT

Beijing behind the scenes: On women’s hockey’s biggest stage, it’s not just the players under pressure

Kerry Gillespie - Sports Reporter, Toronto Star 4 minute read Preview

Beijing behind the scenes: On women’s hockey’s biggest stage, it’s not just the players under pressure

Kerry Gillespie - Sports Reporter, Toronto Star 4 minute read Tuesday, Feb. 8, 2022

Alex Clarke of Weyburn, Sask., is a Canadian linesperson who isn’t part of Team Canada at the Olympics.

Read
Tuesday, Feb. 8, 2022

Transit driver, supervisor assaulted in separate incidents

Free Press staff 2 minute read Preview

Transit driver, supervisor assaulted in separate incidents

Free Press staff 2 minute read 9:38 AM CDT

TWO people are facing charges after Winnipeg Transit employees were assaulted in separate incidents within a 10-hour span Tuesday.

A 51-year-old man is accused of randomly throwing a beer can at a driver while exiting a bus at Dunkirk Avenue and Kingston Row at about 6 a.m.

The driver was bitten while trying to restrain the suspect, police said. A man was charged with assault and held in custody.

A supervisor was punched in the face at about 3:40 p.m., by a rider who refused to pay bus fare at Main Street and Pioneer Avenue, police said.

Read
9:38 AM CDT

Edmonton not the same old Elks as Bombers get ready for road clash

Taylor Allen 6 minute read Preview

Edmonton not the same old Elks as Bombers get ready for road clash

Taylor Allen 6 minute read Yesterday at 7:04 PM CDT

Edmonton’s CFL team has been a complete, utter mess for the majority of the past decade.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers took full advantage of their once-prominent West Division foe falling on hard times by shellacking them time and time again.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

The Blue and Gold defeated the Elks three times in a span of five weeks in 2021 — including a 30-3 beatdown on Chancellor Matheson Road on Oct. 8.

Read
Yesterday at 7:04 PM CDT

Pallister leaving future of bills to new premier

Steve Lambert, The Canadian Press 3 minute read Preview

Pallister leaving future of bills to new premier

Steve Lambert, The Canadian Press 3 minute read Monday, Aug. 23, 2021

Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister says he is prepared to be replaced within a matter of weeks and is leaving the fate of major education reforms and other proposed legislation in the hands of his successor.

"I'm working on the assumption that the (Progressive Conservative) executive council will make a decision to have a leadership vote at some point in the next few weeks," Pallister said Monday in his first comments to the media since he announced Aug. 10 that he would not seek re-election.

The party executive was to meet Monday night to start laying out the rules and a date for a leadership convention.

The only declared candidate so far, former health minister Heather Stefanson, has said she wants to scrap an education bill that would eliminate elected English-language school boards. The proposed legislation, which would also centralize governance of schools, has been widely criticized in Winnipeg and rural areas.

Read
Monday, Aug. 23, 2021

Demolition ordered after fire in vacant city home

Free Press staff 2 minute read Preview

Demolition ordered after fire in vacant city home

Free Press staff 2 minute read 12:06 PM CDT

A Winnipeg firefighter was assessed by paramedics and an emergency demolition was ordered after a vacant house caught fire Thursday morning for the second time in less than three months.

The two-storey home, at Argyle Street and Disraeli Freeway, in South Point Douglas, was boarded up following a blaze that occurred June 1.

Firefighters returned to the house after flames were reported shortly after 6 a.m. Thursday. The house was engulfed when crews arrived.

“Due to heavy fire conditions, crews were unable to enter the structure,” a Winnipeg Fire Paramedic Service spokesperson wrote in an email to the Free Press.

Read
12:06 PM CDT