Take the post-Folklorama spirit outdoors

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My family is travelling here from Quebec for Folklorama, but coming mostly for the French-Canadian Pavilion that runs Aug. 10-16. They sure know how to party. They are also a real pain.

They come home to my farm, stoked after the concerts, get out their own instruments and party until the sun comes up. Yikes. We hosts, who live in little towns and farms close to the city, often keep working part-time during Folklorama, so we need at least a little sleep every night.

Got any hot tips so we have less yelling “Tais-toi!” at each other at 4 a.m. than we did last year? Last fest it was a verbal riot in every sense of the word, and nobody got enough sleep.

What can we do about it this year?

— Folklorama Fatigue, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Folklorama Fatigue: With your visitors’ financial help, rent some motel rooms near your place for the visitors who actually want and need their sleep.

Also, pitch some tents in your yard stocked with sleeping bags and mosquito spray. That will work for party diehards who are happy to mist themselves head to foot, grab their fiddles and jig until the sun rises.

Nothing quite like Folklorama camping.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live on a lake further north in the province that has not yet been threatened by fire. I go to bed worried anyway. My friends and relatives in the city are begging me to stop breathing the heavy smoke and come down to live with them until the wildfires are done.

I work remotely, so I could do that, but so far, I’ve been refusing. Home is home. But today I got a visit from an old girlfriend who has a house in a safer rural area, further south, with generally less smoke. She has invited me to come with my six animals and stay for however long.

She isn’t asking for money, but I would want to pay her. To clear the air with her, I told her I wasn’t interest in any kind of romance, or even just sex. She replied, “Who asked you?”

Those days have passed between us, I admit, but she agreed a little too heartily. But what if I move into her place and we both get lonely in the night? It’s a great way to mess up a nice friendship, but her place is safer in terms of fire and smoke. What do you think?

— Tempted, central Manitoba

Dear Tempted: Why not accept your ex’s invitation, but with a time limit? If you don’t feel sexually attracted to each other anymore, but you make good housemates, then you might be successful as roomies in longer term.

Also, try to think positively. Even if it ends up a short and sexy romance and you get to breathe clean air together, it could be a nice break for both of you and you could still get past it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner and I — we’re both men — had just come to the end of our relationship and I thought we were both OK with that. I didn’t think that we could end up in a big thing at our golf club over it, but what did I know?

I had just started seeing a brand-new guy at the same club and I casually mentioned it to my ex, who was playing a short round with me. But by the next hole, I could see his face had gone bright-red, a sign he was ready to explode.

He growled, “I see what’s really been going on now, so that’s it, for me.” and he walked off the course. Now what?

— Big Mess, North Kildonan

Dear Big Mess: Your recent ex couldn’t handle the painful emotions that washed over him — so give the poor guy a break. That’s an understandable human reaction. Tell him you understand he’s hurting and just let it go without a lot of detailed discussion. It was way too soon for your ex to shift himself into casual-buddy mode for your convenience.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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