Don’t be guilted into hasty decisions on future

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bisexual man who has been living abroad. I recently brought my male partner home for a holiday and to meet the family in Manitoba. It turns out the family adores my partner.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/07/2025 (380 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bisexual man who has been living abroad. I recently brought my male partner home for a holiday and to meet the family in Manitoba. It turns out the family adores my partner.

In fact, my mother and sister want us to move back for good and get married.

This feels like jumping the gun to my partner and me. We both have careers overseas, and we haven’t even talked about marriage.

Suddenly it feels like an escalator just started up underneath us and is moving us willy-nilly to the next level. What can we do? We’re flying back soon.

— Feeling the Jolt, Manitoba

Dear Feeling the Jolt: Don’t carry on any kind of marriage debate on this side of the ocean. Just say, “Maybe we’ll think about it when we get back home and our brains have cleared.”

Feeling cut off from you is the underlying problem for your family, so consider asking if they would consider coming to visit you for a few weeks. You could even offer to help with some of their travel if money is an issue.

That could be comforting and ease the painful goodbye.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m considering quitting my stressful career job. I know of another job I would like way better — for less money, unfortunately. However, I would be able to relax with it and live longer.

My second problem is I’m enjoying my first younger girlfriend ever, now that I’m separated. The trouble is, she wants to live together.

I told her about me wanting a change of careers, and she said, “Great. I’m going to do the same thing because I don’t like my job either.”

My mouth dropped open. She has a very high-paying job.

So here I sit — dumbfounded. Please help.

— Totally Mixed Up, Silver Heights

Dear Mixed Up: You may need to take more holidays, but maybe you don’t need to abandon your career entirely. Take some time off and rest your brain, so you can think about this calmly. Ditto for the serious girlfriend issue. She’s happily thinking of pairing up with you, my friend, and the last thing you need right now is someone who will want your support — particularly financially.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first wife’s second husband recently died and out of common decency I went to his funeral. She paid me a visit at my back door later. (My ex-wife and I have remained civil because we live in the same town, but I don’t want her anywhere near me.)

I told her through the screen door that I couldn’t let her in at that moment. She went home and came back again a few hours later with vegetables from her garden and some flowers.

Sorry to be blunt, but how do I get rid of her?

— Problem from the Past, rural Manitoba

Dear Problem from the Past: Accept her garden gifts with a smile, and say, “It was kind of you to stop by.”

Tell your ex-wife you appreciate her offer, but she needs to know you two will never be together again as a couple, so it wouldn’t make sense to foster this friendship.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Minister faces calls to resign over St. Boniface soil contamination

Ryan Thorpe 5 minute read Preview

Minister faces calls to resign over St. Boniface soil contamination

Ryan Thorpe 5 minute read Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2018

Sustainable Development Minister Rochelle Squires faced calls for her resignation Tuesday, amid claims she lied in her handling of a recent report on soil contamination in Winnipeg's St. Boniface neighbourhood.

"Minister Squires should resign," Manitoba Liberal Leader Dougald Lamont said.

"The government and Minister Squires withheld a report confirming toxic contamination of soil, and then tried to use the (St. Boniface) byelection blackout to justify withholding it, when they actually had it before the election."

NDP Leader Wab Kinew echoed Lamont's claims, but stopped short of calling for her immediate resignation.

Read
Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2018

Oscar Moments: The night emotion won, for better and worse

Jocelyn Noveck, The Associated Press 8 minute read Preview

Oscar Moments: The night emotion won, for better and worse

Jocelyn Noveck, The Associated Press 8 minute read Monday, Mar. 28, 2022

Also streaming: “How to Survive a Pandemic” and “When We Were Bullies” on Crave, “Revenge of the Black Best Friend” and “Topline” on CBC Gem.

Read
Monday, Mar. 28, 2022

Proposed Transcona development — which could add 20,000 people — gets thumbs down from residents

Joyanne Pursaga 5 minute read Preview

Proposed Transcona development — which could add 20,000 people — gets thumbs down from residents

Joyanne Pursaga 5 minute read 6:15 PM CDT

Dozens of Winnipeggers fear plans to make way for up to 20,000 more people to live in south Transcona would dramatically alter their neighbourhood and tie hefty fees for new services to their property titles.

If city council adopts the proposed South Transcona secondary plan, all future development applications would need to conform to its goals. The affected area is located south of Dugald Road, north of St. Boniface Road, east of Plessis Road and west of Murdock Road.

Homeowner Virginia Page Jähne fears the plan could add a massive tab to the title of her 4.3-acre property to cover services required for the development.

“My main concern is that they are wanting to put $1.4 million onto my title to pay for this. Now, they say that I will not have to pay it unless I subdivide. But if a person comes by and wants to buy from me … and they see that $1.4 million … what’s the first thing (they’re) going to do?” said Page Jähne, in an interview.

Read
6:15 PM CDT

Musk tweets link to an unfounded conspiracy theory

Christopher Rugaber, The Associated Press 4 minute read Preview

Musk tweets link to an unfounded conspiracy theory

Christopher Rugaber, The Associated Press 4 minute read Sunday, Oct. 30, 2022

WASHINGTON (AP) — Elon Musk on Sunday tweeted a link to an unfounded rumor about the attack on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's husband, just days after Musk's purchase of Twitter fueled concerns that the social media platform would no longer seek to limit misinformation and hate speech.

Musk's tweet, which he later deleted, linked to an article by a fringe website, the Santa Monica Observer, an outlet that has previously asserted that Hillary Clinton died on Sept. 11 and was replaced with a body double.

In this case, the article recycled a baseless claim that the personal life of Paul Pelosi, the speaker's husband, somehow played a role in an intruder's attack last week in the couple's San Francisco home, even though there is no evidence to support that claim.

Musk did so in reply to a tweet by Hillary Clinton. Her tweet had criticized Republicans for generally spreading “hate and deranged conspiracy theories” and said, “It is shocking, but not surprising, that violence is the result.”

Read
Sunday, Oct. 30, 2022

Doctor’s departure stressful for teen

Kevin Rollason 6 minute read Preview

Doctor’s departure stressful for teen

Kevin Rollason 6 minute read Sunday, Oct. 24, 2021

Morgan Walker is a typical teen — but only because a piece of his brain the size of a deck of cards was removed four years ago.

Walker, who had seizures multiple times a day before his surgery, fears other people might not be so lucky.

That’s because his surgeon, Dr. Demitre Serletis, is leaving the province and Health Sciences Centre. Serletis will start practising at the Cleveland Clinic in the new year.

“I was kind of shocked, but I understood why,” Walker said from his home in Brandon. “The government really hasn’t been respecting doctors.”

Read
Sunday, Oct. 24, 2021

Pallister appears determined to run on not-quite-done record

Dan Lett 6 minute read Preview

Pallister appears determined to run on not-quite-done record

Dan Lett 6 minute read Tuesday, Jun. 4, 2019

He is so going to do this.

Premier Brian Pallister wrapped up the current session of the Manitoba legislature with his most unequivocal statements to date that Manitoba will have a general election this summer. And this time, he actually provided some details about when we might expect the writ to drop.

Pallister told reporters at a news conference Tuesday that beginning in a few days, his government will begin restricting all government announcements and advertising that might contravene the 90-day communication blackout contained in the Election Finances Act. By confirming that he is effectively beginning the blackout, he is also confirming that a campaign will begin in early August for an election day sometime in early September, about a month before a federal election is scheduled.

Manitoba election campaigns run between 28 and 35 days, and the voting must be held on a Tuesday. If, for example, Pallister were to begin a blackout on Tuesday June 11, he could set an election for as early as Tuesday, Sept. 10. Although that would still be more than a full year earlier than the October 2020 date specified in law, he could claim with full justification he had honoured the spirit of the communications blackout.

Read
Tuesday, Jun. 4, 2019