Don’t be guilted into hasty decisions on future

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bisexual man who has been living abroad. I recently brought my male partner home for a holiday and to meet the family in Manitoba. It turns out the family adores my partner.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/07/2025 (382 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bisexual man who has been living abroad. I recently brought my male partner home for a holiday and to meet the family in Manitoba. It turns out the family adores my partner.

In fact, my mother and sister want us to move back for good and get married.

This feels like jumping the gun to my partner and me. We both have careers overseas, and we haven’t even talked about marriage.

Suddenly it feels like an escalator just started up underneath us and is moving us willy-nilly to the next level. What can we do? We’re flying back soon.

— Feeling the Jolt, Manitoba

Dear Feeling the Jolt: Don’t carry on any kind of marriage debate on this side of the ocean. Just say, “Maybe we’ll think about it when we get back home and our brains have cleared.”

Feeling cut off from you is the underlying problem for your family, so consider asking if they would consider coming to visit you for a few weeks. You could even offer to help with some of their travel if money is an issue.

That could be comforting and ease the painful goodbye.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m considering quitting my stressful career job. I know of another job I would like way better — for less money, unfortunately. However, I would be able to relax with it and live longer.

My second problem is I’m enjoying my first younger girlfriend ever, now that I’m separated. The trouble is, she wants to live together.

I told her about me wanting a change of careers, and she said, “Great. I’m going to do the same thing because I don’t like my job either.”

My mouth dropped open. She has a very high-paying job.

So here I sit — dumbfounded. Please help.

— Totally Mixed Up, Silver Heights

Dear Mixed Up: You may need to take more holidays, but maybe you don’t need to abandon your career entirely. Take some time off and rest your brain, so you can think about this calmly. Ditto for the serious girlfriend issue. She’s happily thinking of pairing up with you, my friend, and the last thing you need right now is someone who will want your support — particularly financially.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first wife’s second husband recently died and out of common decency I went to his funeral. She paid me a visit at my back door later. (My ex-wife and I have remained civil because we live in the same town, but I don’t want her anywhere near me.)

I told her through the screen door that I couldn’t let her in at that moment. She went home and came back again a few hours later with vegetables from her garden and some flowers.

Sorry to be blunt, but how do I get rid of her?

— Problem from the Past, rural Manitoba

Dear Problem from the Past: Accept her garden gifts with a smile, and say, “It was kind of you to stop by.”

Tell your ex-wife you appreciate her offer, but she needs to know you two will never be together again as a couple, so it wouldn’t make sense to foster this friendship.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Takagi wins 1st individual Olympic gold, Bowe breaks through

Paul Newberry, The Associated Press 5 minute read Preview

Takagi wins 1st individual Olympic gold, Bowe breaks through

Paul Newberry, The Associated Press 5 minute read Thursday, Feb. 17, 2022

BEIJING (AP) — Karma was working overtime at the Ice Ribbon.

Miho Takagi claimed a gold medal two days after losing one on the final turn when her older sister fell in team pursuit.

Brittany Bowe took the bronze, which seemed a fitting reward for her generosity toward American teammate Erin Jackson.

“We have a lot to celebrate,” Bowe said.

Read
Thursday, Feb. 17, 2022

MGEU resorts to arbitration for 12,000 civil servants

Dan Lett 6 minute read Preview

MGEU resorts to arbitration for 12,000 civil servants

Dan Lett 6 minute read Friday, Jul. 26, 2019

The Manitoba Government and General Employees’ Union filed for arbitration this week, alleging provincial negotiators have refused to make a definitive offer on wages or discuss any non-monetary issues.

Read
Friday, Jul. 26, 2019

Former MLA Kevin Chief opens up about his 18 years of sobriety

Katie May 14 minute read Preview

Former MLA Kevin Chief opens up about his 18 years of sobriety

Katie May 14 minute read Saturday, May. 30, 2020

Every day starts and ends with a prayer.

In the morning, Kevin Chief asks for the strength and courage to stay sober. At night, he thanks the Creator for another day of sobriety. It’s been 18 years since his last drink. Staying sober is still the most important thing to him.

“You’d have to be pretty close to me to know. And there are people today who know me very well that don’t know,” the 45-year-old father of three says.

“I never meant it to be like that. The anonymity was important to me because I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it, and I thought it’d be embarrassing when I slipped again. So I thought it was better for me to not let people know. And then my sponsor told me, ‘Look, you’ll know when the time’s right. You don’t need to force it.’”

Read
Saturday, May. 30, 2020

Take advantage of hydroelectric potential

Jerry Storie 5 minute read Preview

Take advantage of hydroelectric potential

Jerry Storie 5 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Manitoba Hydro tells us that we are going to need significant new electricity generation over the coming decades.

Hydro, like every other utility in the world has recognized this fact. Around the world, new generating capacity is being built. Countries that have access to hydroelectric potential are building dams and planning for the future. Other countries, without the natural advantage rivers provide, are building nuclear energy capacity. And yes, in almost all those countries solar and wind generating capacity are being developed as quickly as possible.

All that additional energy capacity is needed to fuel our endless need for technology, data storage and a thousand other things. Quickly moving to electric vehicles from combustion engines will also drive up demand.

Although it is tempting to think that ever larger and better battery storage will help, it will only help in how energy is distributed. The introduction of more and better battery storage is not likely to limit the total demand for energy. The enthusiasm for battery storage is understandable, but it is certainly possible that battery storage will effectively increase our use of energy, simply because it can be so reliably accessed from our battery storage systems.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

Cruise control: city mulls move to curb street noise levels

Ben Waldman 4 minute read Preview

Cruise control: city mulls move to curb street noise levels

Ben Waldman 4 minute read Friday, Jan. 17, 2020

Sunday cruise nights on Portage Avenue are a Winnipeg tradition, but cavalcades of convertibles and muscle cars rolling down the street can come with a noisy byproduct.

Next week, the city's executive policy committee will discuss some changes — including noise cameras that capture licence plate data of particularly loud vehicles — aimed at keeping the volume down.

The recommendation, which would require provincial approval, comes on the heels of complaints from area residents about the Sunday night noise levels, says Coun. Cindy Gilroy (Daniel McIntyre).

"Most residents don't mind the cruise nights themselves," she said Thursday. "It's the revving and the screeching" and the modified mufflers.

Read
Friday, Jan. 17, 2020

WRHA directs three care homes to accommodate surge of hospital patients

Malak Abas 5 minute read Preview

WRHA directs three care homes to accommodate surge of hospital patients

Malak Abas 5 minute read Friday, Aug. 14, 2026

The Winnipeg Regional Health Authority has directed three long-term care centres to make space for hospital patients, citing “exceptionally high demand for care across the health-care system.”

“Riverview Health Centre, Deer Lodge Centre and Misericordia Health Centre have been asked to identify additional temporary capacity for patients who no longer require an acute-care hospital bed but continue to need an appropriate level of care before they can transition to their next care setting,” a WRHA spokesperson told the Free Press Thursday.

“This whole-of-system response will help create additional capacity in acute-care hospitals, supporting patient flow and timely access to emergency departments and other hospital services.”

The spokesperson described the measures as part of “standard surge protocol,” atypical and temporary, but did not provide a timeline of how long patients would be staying at the health-care centres.

Read
Friday, Aug. 14, 2026