Don’t let pride squander what your heart wants

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-girlfriend completely moved cities after she broke up our living-together arrangement of two years because I wouldn’t marry her.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/07/2025 (397 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-girlfriend completely moved cities after she broke up our living-together arrangement of two years because I wouldn’t marry her.

I told her I didn’t see why we had to bother getting married, especially at ages 20 and 21.

We said, “I love you” every night and made love because we really meant it, and our relationship was just great the way it was. I felt sick when she made arrangements behind my back to move to Toronto to get her master’s degree and then left me behind.

Two years later, she’s come back and I’m feeling that awful pain all over again, having her here in the city, but not with me. I met with her recently — what a mistake. It bowled me over how much I still felt for her. My heart was beating out of my chest the whole time.

This week, to my shock and amazement, she had the nerve to say she wants me back. After what she put me through, wouldn’t I be a complete fool to let her have another chance? She says she wants it.

— In Total Shock, North Winnipeg

Dear In Shock: The woman you still love deeply is a little older and she’s back and wanting you. Don’t let silly pride get in your way now, considering how you clearly still want her. Deep feelings of love have persisted for both of you, even through the anger and suffering of your breakup.

Now this woman has actually moved back to Manitoba, and obviously it has a lot to do with you.

Fortunately, a marriage between you two actually stands a chance now. The love is still there on both sides — and has survived somehow — as many great loves tend to do.

You would be foolish not to try to work things out, but this time do it with professional help — an adviser who can teach you two the skills you need.

Qualified relationship counsellors are trained to “referee” and help hurting people ease the pain and rebuild on firmer ground than ever before. They’re trained to jump in and redirect the conversation and put out fires before they get out of hand.

This woman’s love has persisted and so has yours, so that’s good news. Time for you two to be brave and get on it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was obese and lost a lot of weight last winter for my cardiac health.

On a scorching-hot day recently, I went swimming at the urging of two friends.

While I’ve slimmed down, I’m very flabby in the back view and evidently look terrible in my roomy bathing suit.

I heard an old guy coming up behind us, joking to his friends, “Look at that; lots of motion in that ocean.”

It embarrassed me, and hurt so much.

I’ve given birth to five great children in almost 10 years, which is probably five more than any of those old guys have.

I don’t know how to handle a public slight, except to insult the insulter, so I called him a nasty name to do with his old age.

What should I have done, instead?

— Embarrassed, St. Ambroise

Dear Embarrassed: There’s a good chance one of this mean-mouthed man’s buddies would have taken a verbal swipe at him and his cruel mouth, if you hadn’t.

But if nobody took your side and that meant you “taking it lying down,” sometimes inaction can hurt worse and last longer than fighting back.

So, try to let this exchange of insults go. And if you want to feel more confident going swimming, wear a sleeveless beach shirt over your bathing suit and feel better.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Liquor authority fines True North $12K after minors with fake ID served at Jets White Out party

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Preview

Liquor authority fines True North $12K after minors with fake ID served at Jets White Out party

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Yesterday at 6:17 PM CDT

True North Sports and Entertainment was hit with a $12,000 fine for serving minors with fake IDs during a Winnipeg Jets White Out street party in 2025.

The company was fined by the Liquor, Gaming & Cannabis Authority of Manitoba on May 13, 2025 after liquor inspectors attended the May 9 street party and witnessed two two minors in possession of and consuming liquor. One was visibly intoxicated, according to a compliance order dated May 15, 2025.

Both minors had security-issued “18+” wristbands and were using identification that was expired and “clearly not their image.”

The compliance order, provided to the Free Press by the LGCA, said inspectors also noticed inadequate identification checking by security before issuing the wristbands, which identify the people wearing them as being of legal drinking age.

Read
Yesterday at 6:17 PM CDT

Grassroots organization teaches families how to navigate the child-welfare system

Eva Wasney 6 minute read Preview

Grassroots organization teaches families how to navigate the child-welfare system

Eva Wasney 6 minute read Friday, Apr. 9, 2021

Jacqueline Rieu wants her son back. He’s eight years old, is on the autism spectrum and has been living in foster care since being apprehended by Manitoba Child and Family Services five years ago.

Read
Friday, Apr. 9, 2021

Multi-year budget to force councillors, bureaucrats to focus on the big picture

Aldo Santin 12 minute read Preview

Multi-year budget to force councillors, bureaucrats to focus on the big picture

Aldo Santin 12 minute read Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2019

City hall is putting the final touches on the 2019 preliminary budget -- but the real tough job will start after that.

The city is committed to developing a four-year budget beginning with 2020, and having it in place by the end of this year.

It's a process that is filled with uncertainties, trying to balance four successive annual budgets at the same time, using assumptions on revenues and expenses that can change without notice: a provincial government that has frozen funding to city hall at 2016 levels and is reluctant to disclose annual funding commitments or share in unexpected revenues; erratic fuel prices; a possible change in government in Ottawa, which could bring new spending priorities. And in the middle of that four-year span, another civic election where new members of council may have other priorities than those laid out by the current crop of office holders.

Municipal governments across Manitoba are required to approve their annual operating and capital budgets by the end of March each year. But the criticism of decision-making at city hall has been that all the decisions are made on a year-to-year basis, keeping voters happy with an eye on the next election.

Read
Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2019

Winnipeggers deserve an explanation for waste of taxpayer dollars: expert

Ryan Thorpe 12 minute read Preview

Winnipeggers deserve an explanation for waste of taxpayer dollars: expert

Ryan Thorpe 12 minute read Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2022

The anti-corruption expert grew increasingly concerned with each passing example of costly and confusing construction projects ordered by Winnipeg’s public works department — year after year, intersection after intersection.

Kevin Gillese stopped the presentation halfway through — he’d seen enough.

“The materials you’ve shown me are extremely disturbing. They suggest a pattern of incompetence or corruption, or perhaps both… The patterns shown are over a long period of time and there’s no obvious rhyme or reason to what’s being done,” Gillese said.

“The extent and the magnitude is so great that it staggers the imagination. It suggests something very, very wrong in the way intersection engineering is being done in the City of Winnipeg.”

Read
Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2022

Manitoba data not yet adequate to release virus projections, Roussin says

Carol Sanders 5 minute read Preview

Manitoba data not yet adequate to release virus projections, Roussin says

Carol Sanders 5 minute read Tuesday, Apr. 21, 2020

Even as Manitoba's coronavirus infection rate continues to improve, the province is steadfast in refusing to release its long-term projections of the pandemic's impact.

It's a decision reiterated at Tuesday's health briefing that's in stark contrast to Ontario, which shared its latest projections Monday — a move of transparency it said was necessary for the public to fully understand the challenges facing the government.

“Providing this information is key to ensuring continued transparency with the public about the challenges that Ontario faces in dealing with COVID-19 and where there has been progress in flattening the curve,” the COVID-19: Modelling and Potential Scenarios report released Monday said. The 18-page report showed Ontarians that public-health interventions resulted in the virus peaking now rather than in May, and included such information as the total number of cases for the span of the outbreak is now likely to be less than 20,000, compared to the 80,000 projected earlier.

In Manitoba, that kind of modelling with potential scenarios has not been made public. For the last two weeks, government officials and chief provincial health officer Dr. Brent Roussin have indicated such projections would be made public in the coming days. Modelling and potential scenarios have been presented to the province but more data is needed before projections will be released to the public, said Roussin.

Read
Tuesday, Apr. 21, 2020

Olympics overnight: Synchro divers spring to silver, while Penny Oleksiak powers relay team to Canada’s first medal in Tokyo

Justin Smirlies - Toronto Star, Toronto Star 6 minute read Preview

Olympics overnight: Synchro divers spring to silver, while Penny Oleksiak powers relay team to Canada’s first medal in Tokyo

Justin Smirlies - Toronto Star, Toronto Star 6 minute read Sunday, Jul. 25, 2021

Here’s what you missed overnight and need to know about the 2020 Tokyo Olympics this morning.

Read
Sunday, Jul. 25, 2021