Moms’ liaison doesn’t spell friendship’s end

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This article was published 26/06/2025 (418 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was lying awake the other night and heard my mother yapping away to someone while she drank her nightly margaritas. She was talking in a flirty, sexy way — like she was having a phone date.

I thought she was talking with a guy, so being the snoopy daughter I am, I opened my door a crack to hear better. My mother turns out to be having a thing with a woman.

Big deal, you say? Yes, it is. It is the lesbian mother of my best friend — up until recently. Now I know why she’s been snubbing me. She’s obviously in-the-know and horrified, like I am now.

I don’t know what to do. Why should I have to lose my best friend? If our mothers are sexually involved, then I feel sick about it too and I understand why my closest friend is avoiding me.

How should I approach this friend I seem to have lost? I really miss her friendship. She and I are both straight, I think. Help us.

— Losing Friend Over Mothers, North Kildonan

Dear Losing Friend: Both your mothers may have had the mistaken idea that you two wouldn’t be upset about their liaison because you and your friend are already so close. Wrong.

Look, you didn’t bargain for your moms to be romantic partners, but don’t panic. It will take some working through, possibly with a psychologist, but you likely won’t have to lose your buddy. You may have to give it some time, though, as there are several emotional issues involved.

So, in a few weeks, shore up your courage and call your friend. If she’s not willing to talk yet, say to her, “I’ll call you again in a month, or feel free to call me sooner.” By then, there will be other regular news from your circle of friends to share, as well as this topic playing out, and these issues could start the conversation rolling again.

Meanwhile, ask your mom to find you a counsellor to talk things through with. You two may need a “referee” at first, but you already have many years of love on your side.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I gained enough pregnancy weight for twins but I only had one baby. I immediately started a nutritious weight-loss program and have lost five pounds already.

My husband says he doesn’t need to work out or diet — although he’s 40 pounds overweight and looks like he could have been carrying twins himself. I told him that last night.

How can I get him motivated? He’s in worse shape than I am, and it’s just not sexually appealing.

— Pregnant-Looking Hubby, West End

Dear Pregnant-Looking Hubby: For real motivation, a program has to be appealing, not punishment.

Plus, the person’s partner needs to be encouraging, not mean.

So first off, you owe your man an apology. Then, it’s time to get a set of weights for home use.

Add in a step counter and a nearby high school running track or park to take advantage of with different friends.

Or, if either of you prefers to train alone, earphones and a curated playlist of all-time favourite tunes will make it more fun.

You two could make twin programs work and feel happy and attractive again as long as you join forces and cheer each other on this summer.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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