Fess up to nocturnal noise neurosis at cottage

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This article was published 30/06/2025 (480 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother phoned and announced she’s driving up to our cottage at the lake to stay with us “as usual” on summer weekends. She said she was just checking on which weeks she can be there.

Then, she stated happily that her new boyfriend will be coming up with her to stay for those weekends. I haven’t met him yet, but I hear he’s a cool older guy.

I feel weird about the possibility of my mom having sex with someone new near where I’m sleeping. All of a sudden, I’ve become a prude. I panicked and said, “No, it can’t be like that, visiting this summer — we’re too busy.”

I told her I’m not taking real holidays, but I’ll be working hard remotely at the lake on my laptop.

I told Mom she could came on her own and stay this summer, but it would have to be a week in August. She started crying, and said, “One week in August? I don’t understand why. What have I done?” I didn’t know how to tell her. Help.

— Prudish Daughter, Transcona

Dear Prudish: You need to confess to your mom that you’re shy about having her boyfriend staying at your cottage and the two of them having sex while you’re there.

Now you know how parents feel when their teenagers or young-adult children bringing their partners home or out to the cabin to sleep.

Satellite sleeping cabins can serve important purposes at the lake, and one of them is keeping sexually active couples from being heard. If you have a little bunkhouse or a camper trailer, you might park the couple out there. If not, you could rent a little camper and park it on your lot for guests.

No matter what, you need to confess the real reason you’re refusing visits from your mom this summer — and it’s not your work schedule. You’re probably worried for nothing. A lot of people forgo audible sex when they’re guests at someone’s cabin and noise travels easily with thin walls or walls that don’t reach the ceiling.

It’s certainly a possibility your mom and her new guy don’t want to have sex near you in close quarters anyway.

Why not hint at the topic in order to spur the necessary conversation — with a minimum of embarrassing details.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I may be too young to be in love, but I am. My guy loves me to the moon and back, and we lie in bed after making love talking about the wonderful life we’ll have together.

Our problem is we don’t ever want a wedding, but our divorced parents — now having found second happier marriages — are pushing us to get married. Why?

— Kids of Broken Marriages, East Kildonan

Dear Kids: Tell your anxious parents who are now happily remarried to their second partners that you want to figure this lifetime commitment thing out yourselves over time and in your own way.

Right now the two of you are happily developing your serious and committed bond, so tell them just to wish you all the luck in the world and to support you in your relationship’s development.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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