Don’t immediately discount canine’s qualms

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This article was published 21/06/2025 (434 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a woman with visual impairment, and I live alone with my amazing guide dog. I trust her implicitly — she’s well-trained and has been with me since she was a pup. She has warned me away from a few questionable people I’ve met in public because she didn’t like their smell or attitude towards me.

I usually get it because I kind of get a warning feeling, too, like hair standing up on my neck. (You become super-sensitive.) But then I recently met a very sweet woman at a music event in the city and brought her home with me.

My dog didn’t like her and was very upset. He balked at even letting her in our door, but I let her in anyway. My dog sat nervously between us at the kitchen table. When my guest was in the bathroom, he became very upset and restless.

He has let other people come in, so he doesn’t automatically have negative responses to people trying to get close to me. I was disappointed he was acting up because I really liked this woman, and she seemed harmless.

I didn’t let her stay the night because of my dog, although I found her voice and manners very attractive. I didn’t notice anything missing in my place after she went home. I did, however, notice my guest spent a long time in my bathroom, so I checked it out. The drawers felt a little open, but nothing was gone that I noticed.

I’d really like to see her again, but would it be safe? Why was my dog reacting nervously?

— Overreacting? Downtown

Dear Overreacting: It’s possible your dog may have been reacting to something your guest was stealthily doing. The dog’s keen ears may have heard quiet but suspicious sounds — like someone going through drawers and cabinets.

Although animals and people don’t fully share the same social language as humans, they do know more than you realize. Call the people who trained your dog and report this suspicious experience, including all the details you can remember. And don’t be over-sensitive to their questions.

The trainer will probably ask you some personal questions about the new woman and the nature of your personal interactions with her. Be prepared to answer openly and honestly. Just to be safe, maybe don’t hang out with this woman in your home until you know a little more about her. This is probably a good practice with anyone new you meet — no matter how sweet and charming they seem to be.

Dogs know much more than we give them credit for, especially trained ones. Our hearing and olfactory capacities are not nearly as keen as theirs.

As for guarding your medications and valuables, hidden lockboxes are a good idea. They should not be kept hidden in easily guessed spots.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was asked by my 18-year-old daughter to lend her $100 again, just 10 days after her paycheque went into her account.

She had spent the last cheque in one week, even though she’s living and eating free at our house.

I think we need some rules around here, as her parents are a pair of pushovers.

— Soft-touch Parent, Westwood

Dear Soft Touch: Sit down with your daughter and teach her how to make an “enjoyable” budget. Very few parents do this. Demonstrate how to set aside monthly expenses, and also to build funds for an important future buy, such as a car or vacation.

Show her it can actually be fun to pay for your own cool stuff such as nice clothes and entertainment — and still have savings for special things.

She will thank you one day when she always has enough money for what she needs and wants — unlike many friends her age.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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