Love letter makes it clear marriage is sunk

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband was going through his old boxes in the basement, but then got an emergency call from work and had to take off. I went downstairs to throw in some laundry, and the box he was sorting through had been left open.

I read the letter on top. It was in a coloured envelope in a woman’s artsy handwriting — a love letter all about the last time they were together. She started by saying what a “sensitive and exciting” lover he was, and went into detail. Then she said she couldn’t wait to see him again in their special place and signed it with a squiggle, plus the full date.

Surprise. It wasn’t an old letter after all.

I realized they could still be seeing each other. My husband and I stopped having sex a few years ago because it wasn’t good between us anymore. Suddenly, he started apologizing to me because he wasn’t able to “raise the flag anymore.” He said it was because of his medications.

It must have been because he was seeing her. When he got home, I handed him the letter and he said it was from years before he met me. Then I flipped to the back page of the letter with the date. I just said, “You’re such a liar. I don’t know why I stayed with you, but I know one thing — I won’t waste any more time living with you.”

He asked what the kids would think and I said they would think we were splitting up, but they didn’t have to know the dirty details. His response was, “So be it,” spoken dramatically, like he was onstage. Now I’m thinking: could it be my husband planted the letters and “forgot“ to close the box?

— Sickened By Him, Westwood

Dear Sickened: It’s unlikely he hoped you would read his love letters, since he got called out on an emergency and left PDQ.

However, two things are certain: he was reading them and you two don’t want to be together as love partners anymore.

The concern now is how and when you will part, and how you will tell the kids.

By the way, do you really think your offspring have no idea there’s trouble in your marriage? You would be amazed at how many kids overhear their parents’ conversations and fights — not to mention phone calls made between parents and their other “friends.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This fun new woman I met at the gym offered to pick me up later and take me back to her house for a “get-together.”

When she came to get me, I went to jump in the front seat and her dog was sitting there. She told me to get in the back. I refused and just left and went back into my place.

What is up with women these days who treat their animals like gold and men like they’re lower than dogs?

— Had Enough, Whyte Ridge

Dear Had Enough: Many women dote on their dogs because they don’t give them anything but love, affection and protection. On future meetings with new women, you should ask, “Do you have dogs, by any chance?” If they say yes, then don’t ask for a date with them. Just say, “Nice to meet you, but I’m just recovering from my last encounter with a dog woman, and it was a non-starter for the three of us.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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