Skip drive-thru for a sit-down coffee catch-up

Opinion

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This article was published 19/03/2025 (186 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was in a drive-thru line recently to get a burger after a horrible day. I was expecting a teenager to hand my food to me, but this manager guy in a white shirt with rolled-up sleeves was up there instead. I looked at his face and started laughing — It was my ex-boyfriend, filling in.

I asked if someone had phoned in sick, and he said yes, but his day got a whole lot better seeing me. Then he added that he was helping to flip burgers and asked if I wanted a job. I laughed and said no. Then cars started honking, so I made a move.

He yelled out, “Call me.” His cell number is still etched on my brain, but how could I ever call him? The last time we exchanged words was at the beach during a fight and I gave his engagement ring back. Then I begged a friend of his to take me home. What should I do?

— Tempted to Call, St. Vital

Dear Tempted: This old love sounded like he really wanted to talk to you and you want that, too. So why not get together at least once for a coffee and a chat, even if it’s just to smooth things over. We humans can carry around a lot of emotional junk by not talking things out with our exes, so lighten your load, and his, and just call him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-wife has started dating my baby brother, who is 10 years younger than me. It’s driving me nuts. He knows my breakup with her hurt me deeply and knows all the gory details about it.

Now, I guess he’s used that information to get into my ex-wife’s heart and he may be the lucky guy to marry her this time. I couldn’t take that. I still love her, deep down.

He mentioned where she’s working now and I can’t stop thinking about her. What should I do — maybe go see her?

— First Husband, St. Norbert

Dear First Husband: That’s a tempting but unwise idea. You’re too old to lose your teeth in a fight over a woman. Say to yourself, “Whatever will be, will be,” and let your brother marry her if she wants him and he wants her.

You already had your chance with her and it didn’t work out, but if he’s anything like you, it may not work out with him either.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I live in a small town. We were a very young to get married — but I really needed to get out of my mother’s house. She mean-mouths me to anybody who will listen, calls me lazy and “stone stupid.”

My new mother-in-law lives one town over and is great. My wife and I visit her often and my mother says, “Your girlfriend’s mother already has a husband, and I don’t. I have lots of work you should be doing here to help me.” Then she stabs me in the chest with her finger.

My mother makes me feel bad, and I avoid her whenever I can.

Do you know how I can make this situation better?

— ‘Ungrateful’ Son, southern Manitoba

Dear ‘Ungrateful’ Son: Stop blaming yourself and make a permanent move to the town where your wife grew up and her family lives.

Getting away from your own mother’s cruel talk will be good for you. It will also make your marriage feel more relaxed.

That physical distance from your old town will help you and your wife feel free to get into new activities and enjoy a happy married life with new friends.

Don’t announce the permanent move much ahead of time to your critical mother, and don’t feel guilty. You’re not a bad son for disliking your mom’s company, and you do need to start believing this yourself.

The best thing is it will finally be possible for you to breathe and grow. You were smart enough to marry someone you love deeply and to start creating a whole new life. Good luck.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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