Avoid messy hangover of a peer-pressure party

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This article was published 05/05/2025 (468 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My parents have announced they’re letting me take care of what my friends call “The Mansion” here in the city this summer. My folks want to go to our cottage by themselves for the entire summer for the first time since before my brother and I were born. My mother says, “We feel like college kids again!”

Mom says I’m old enough now to be responsible. But the real reason I have to stay home is because I’m flunking university courses, and my parents insisted I take summer classes to try to get back on track to start my second year in the fall.

The problem with me staying here alone is that I’m worried my wilder friends will invite people from the bar to party here and end up wrecking the place my family loves so much.

I don’t know how to tell this to my trusting folks, but I really don’t want to end up having to be responsible to keep watch over my partying friends and who knows who else. Other years, my folks just locked up our home and we all went to the lake. I miss those days. Help!

— Worried Sick, South St. Vital

Dear Worried Sick: It’s confession time now at “The Mansion,” rather than in the aftermath of a big party once your folks are up at the lake. If you procrastinate, the damage won’t just involve the day-after mess in your parents’ beloved home. You risk derailing your catch-up studies and ruining your parents’ idyllic summer plans.

When you fess up about your fears, your parents will understand your concerns. Being honest is a big part of taking responsibility and mom and dad will likely appreciate it.

Then they’ll help come up with a better plan for safeguarding their home and not saddle you with fending off a horde of partiers. Maybe you could stay with a trusted relative in town, and your parents could just lock down their abode once again. Trust me, everybody will be relieved you came clean before anything happened.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife wants me to plant a great big garden in mid-May and handle all the extra work it entails. In return, she says she’ll cook. Big deal! She cooks all the time anyway.

I garden because I really love growing things, and enjoy the fresh and healthy veggies, but I don’t see any need to expand it just to impress someone. Last night she started in blabbing about her first husband, who used to cook great barbecue dinners with his own fresh produce. I said, “Yes, and he turned out to be such a great guy, you had to kick his butt out.”

I’m tired of this constant fighting. What can I do?”

— In the Doghouse, St. Norbert

Dear Doghouse: Buy your wife the nicest flowers she’s seen in a long time and write her a mushy card. But that’s it — don’t apologize insincerely for the incident.

You’re not sorry you made that crack about her ex, and she probably regrets comparing you to the husband she left in disgust.

Why not plant some new veggies and herbs that interest you, and maybe both of you could work in the kitchen to whip up some great new dishes. It’s time to get back to loving each other and enjoying what you have, instead of bickering!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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