Make the bedroom a stage and get creative

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a law student working on becoming a lawyer. Unfortunately, I have nothing much to spend on my wonderful girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. She deserves a fantastic present for being such a doll and showing me so much love, kindness and great sex. I really hit the jackpot and I want to show her how I feel.

Read this article for free:


By clicking the button above, an account will be created and you will begin to receive some of our recommended newsletters. You may opt out of any newsletter by visiting your Email and Communication Preferences page or by clicking "unsubscribe" at the bottom of any email.

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $1.44 a week*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*Billed as $5.77 plus GST every four weeks. After 52 weeks, price increases to the regular rate of $19.95 plus GST every four weeks. Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/02/2025 (633 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a law student working on becoming a lawyer. Unfortunately, I have nothing much to spend on my wonderful girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. She deserves a fantastic present for being such a doll and showing me so much love, kindness and great sex. I really hit the jackpot and I want to show her how I feel.

Cash has always been an issue, though, and being in school, I’m still going to be poor for a few years. I don’t have enough money for the engagement ring I was hoping to give my sweet girl by now.

I’m paying for my education out of my own pocket and it’s going to be several more years of scrimping, but I am a proud man and a good lover. Can you give me a Valentine’s Day gift idea for something she can actually brag about to her friends?

So far, I’ve only got a little poem about her, and half a dozen grocery-store roses in mind. Still, that doesn’t express the passion I feel for her.

I have a background in theatre, but I’m not sure what I could do with that.

— My Fantastic Valentine, Osborne Village

Dear Fantastic Valentine: With your background in theatre, you could easily create an exotic fantasy scene for your woman. You’ll need a bottle of sensual-smelling oil, a few candles to nicely light the bedroom, plus a skimpy homemade costume for yourself.

Then choose a fictional or historical romantic character (Romeo? Casanova?) and put your theatrical talents to use as you massage and titillate your mate. When the massage is over, present her with the roses and custom-made card.

Just use your imagination, and you’ll have this adventure wrapped up.

Her girlfriends’ more expensive and traditional gifts won’t be nearly as entertaining as the evening of delight you created for your mate.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been separated for a year, and in the last two months I finally met a guy I really like. But then he went and made me so mad. The idiot actually told me he doesn’t celebrate “mandatory special days” and he will pick and choose if and when he wants to give something special to a woman.

That would have been me, but then “click,” I felt myself turning off. I said nothing and just changed the subject, but he could feel he was in big trouble.

He phoned two days later with the lame offer of a “movie date or something” on Valentine’s Day. I told him I was all booked up for the evening — even though I’m not. I’m spending the night of Feb. 14 alone and now he’s gone silent.

My ex-husband never forgot a holiday, but unfortunately he visited more than one woman on the night with his sexy gifts and romantic gestures.

What’s wrong with me that I can’t get love and attention from a good man?

— Losing Again, Selkirk

Dear Losing Again: That would be an appropriate question if there were only a couple men left in the world. Luckily there are thousands right here in Manitoba, but they won’t just come knocking at your door.

It takes real work to meet people, especially if you’re not a group-loving person.

But why not give it a year of real effort? Make a list of activities, sports and causes you’re fond of and try to get involved. If you can’t do this alone, enlist a girlfriend or two to join you in the experiment. This could be a lot of fun for everybody.

Then spend six months getting yourselves over-involved in artistic endeavours, charities, animal welfare, community projects and anything else social that piques your interest.

In the end, just stick with the activities you most enjoy and are producing the most friends.

Finding new romance is definitely a numbers game when you’re a single adult, but it can be done if you make a good plan and stick to it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

North End plant a cautionary tale

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

North End plant a cautionary tale

Editorial 4 minute read 2:00 AM EST

Members of the Winnipeg City Council — especially returning members — are probably breathing a sigh of relief for something that happened mere days into their new mandate.

And if there is any fairness in the world of fees and levies, there will be the same relief for taxpayers as well.

On Oct. 30, the federal government announced it would be putting in $500 million to help cover the soaring costs of the North End sewage treatment plant. On the same day, newly re-elected Winnipeg Mayor Scott Gillingham announced that sewer rates for 2027 would be frozen, something that was promised during the election campaign.

The federal spending, along with $500 million in matching funds from the province that was announced earlier this year, is welcome news: both the federal and provincial clearly have a role to play in funding important infrastructure projects that Winnipeg can’t handle on its own.

Read
2:00 AM EST

Taylor Allen

2 minute read Preview

Taylor Allen

2 minute read Sunday, Aug. 14, 2022

Eighteen years old and still in high school, Taylor got his start with the Free Press on June 1, 2011. Well, sort of...

Read
Sunday, Aug. 14, 2022

We’re seeing LeBronification of hockey culture

Jeremy Geddert 5 minute read 2:00 AM EST

Longtime Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck is taking his talents to South Jersey.

Unlike Philadelphia 76ers forward LeBron James, he’s not announcing his new home on a TV special. But like James, he’s advancing a new crusade of player self-assertion.

Soon, we’ll likely see hockey’s Dylan Larkin and Quinn Hughes (again) engineer their own exits, just like the Tkachuk brothers. The common thread? Like James, they’re all American. And they’re not just moving south — they’re making hockey culture American.

A country’s athletes usually find a sport that expresses their national culture. Think of Brazil’s flashy soccer players, South Africa’s rugged ruggers, Britain’s refined golfers.

The whole truth? Well, that depends on who wants to know

Melissa Martin 8 minute read Preview

The whole truth? Well, that depends on who wants to know

Melissa Martin 8 minute read Thursday, Sep. 27, 2018

She raised her hand in front of her government and country, and swore to tell the truth, nothing but, so help her God.

That truth, as Christine Blasey Ford told the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee Thursday, was simple: when she was 15 years old, Brett Kavanaugh, now the Republicans' Supreme Court nominee, sexually assaulted her.

"I am here today, not because I want to be," she said, in the beginning. "I am terrified."

Then she started talking, reading from the statement she'd prepared about the events that led her to that moment. She recounted the details of the assault 36 years ago — the house party, the hands shoving her into a bedroom, Kavanaugh's weight on top of her.

Read
Thursday, Sep. 27, 2018

The poppy is not an apolitical symbol

Ian Cosh 4 minute read 2:00 AM EST

For many Canadians, the remembrance poppy is sacred. Any restriction on wearing it is bound to touch a nerve.

Last year, Nova Scotia’s judiciary did exactly that. To preserve an “unbiased and neutral space,” staff were told they needed permission before wearing one in court.

Premier Tim Houston called the rule “disgusting.” The poppy, he insisted, is “not a political statement.”

Former Alberta premier Jason Kenney went further, declaring that remembrance is “pre-political,” a duty binding Canadians across generations.

Reach out to break spell for disenchanted mate

Maureen Scurfield 4 minute read 2:00 AM EST

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend has long, black hair and won’t get off her witch kick now that Halloween is over.

I’ve had more than enough. She and her friends were experimenting with spells in the six weeks before Halloween, and I just smirked. I thought it was a silly activity mostly to get them in the mood for the big Halloween-night party at our house.

I have to admit, my woman looked pretty sexy in a tight black-lace dress, black stockings, boots, cape and hat. All the women there kept saying to her, “Oh, it’s the real you — it’s bringing out the true witch in you,” and taking her picture. It went right to her head.

Even though my girlfriend took everything off to sleep, she put the black dress back on when she woke up, and wore it around the apartment all day with her scraggly hair and smeared makeup from the night before.