Take things slowly so the fur doesn’t fly

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/02/2025 (537 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend wants us to live together, but she has three adult cats and I have a new puppy. Her cats are older and tougher than my little dog, but that won’t last for long. He’s a big breed and is growing a lot every month.

My mate lives on an acreage, which should be plenty of room for six living beings — unless there’s going to be constant conflict among the animals. I thought I could maybe rent out my current house to my nephew if I move in case I need to move back home.

My girlfriend says she’d like to move everybody into her place this spring and be one big happy family.

I’m hesitant. Your advice?

— Protective Puppy Mom, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Protective Mom: The pup needs time to sniff around and investigate without the cats terrifying him, so take him over for short visits and let him sniff around alone. After that, he could then meet one cat at a time.

The old cats may think the awkward pup is just a joke and not pay much attention to him. However, they may join forces and try to chase him out. You may just want to visit on weekends if full weeks are too much.

Don’t let your new girlfriend push you to do anything just because it’s convenient for her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wanted a girl in high school so badly. She was slim but muscled — a multiple-sport athletic star who always wore a strange black jacket and had spiky hair. To me, she looked like an alien queen. I wanted to be her guy, but I was too shy and said nothing at the time.

I already had a girlfriend in high school who taught me about sex, but I never once dated the girl I really wanted.

At 19, my dream girl married a jerk from the next town over and I finally stopped aching for her.

Then recently, I found out from my parents that she was in real trouble. Her husband was drinking a lot and he came home one night and hit her. She clocked him back and he lost a front tooth.

People in town have been laughing at him and she moved to Winnipeg to live with her older sister.

I managed to get her phone number this week and I want to call her. Should I?

— Still Wanting Her, West End

Dear Wanting Her: Yes, do it. But just because she’s broken up with this lout doesn’t mean she’ll automatically want to start dating you.

Also keep in mind that you shouldn’t volunteer to play the “just friends” game off the top. Make sure to tell her you’ve always liked her a lot and that you want to take her out for dinner on a proper date.

If she says she’s feeling too messed up for a big date, then scale it down and ask her to meet you for coffee or a cocktail.

When you’re out and she starts relaxing with you, you’ll find out if she’s interested in exploring more of a relationship with you.

But if she seems lukewarm on hanging out with you or tells you she doesn’t want anything more, don’t push. Be careful with your own heart.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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