It’s time to tune out the meddling naysayers

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This article was published 16/09/2024 (719 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hate my boss so much that I screamed obscenities at him, and he yelled back, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

I had already quit anyway, so it didn’t matter what he said.

I was relieved, but still knew I’d have to pay my rent and I have no savings. That meant big trouble. I’m still friends with my recent ex-boyfriend, so I phoned him to explain what was happening.

What a nice guy he turned out to be. He said he wouldn’t give me money, but he would let me work for three months at his restaurant so I could get a regular cheque and keep my place while I looked for another job.

I was so grateful. Of course, I said yes to his offer.

We’ll never be back together as a couple, and that’s just fine. I love him as a platonic friend now. Anyway, he already has a nice new girlfriend, and she’s sweeter to him than I ever was.

I start my new job waitressing at his place this week. In my excitement, I told my mother about the situation and that my ex is giving me three whole months of work. She yelled, “You’ll be working for your ex-boyfriend? Have you lost your mind? You’ll probably get pregnant.”

You mean like she did, with me? She got pregnant by my dad — her older boss — way back when.

Then she said she hoped I wasn’t thinking about moving back in with her. I told her I wasn’t.

Her nasty comment cemented my decision to work hard for my ex until Christmas at least. I’m also aware there will be plenty of raised eyebrows and comments from other people.

Please tell me how should I handle them? My business is my business.

— Learning on My Own, St. Boniface

Dear Learning: If interfering people have the nerve to doubt your new work situation, don’t dignify them with an answer. Stare them down until their sly conversations come to a halt, then walk away casually like they mean nothing to you.

In the same vein, be sure to keep your conversations with your mom short for the time being. Here’s a harmless phone-call dismissal: “My ex and I were always meant to be just friends, and now we really are. I will do a good job working for him. Bye for now.” Click.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is out in the garden harvesting questionable health-potion ingredients like so many other gullible people who seem to be on this kick I’m reading about everywhere.

I don’t believe in these magical plant boosters and cures for our health that my mate is so high on. In fact, it creeps me out that she might be slipping them to me secretly in my food, particularly the weird ones to enhance sex.

I don’t know the names of her different plants, but she has warned me not to touch them in the garden — and just leave the preparation to her. I don’t trust that.

Today, I was home alone and read some bookmarked recipes in her newest cookbook, and it freaked me out. I don’t even want to taste her dishes now. What should I do?

— Nervous Guy, Charleswood

Dear Nervous: Go shopping without your girlfriend and start preparing healthy dinners with fresh ingredients that will tempt her. Tell her she can just put her feet up while you cook. She may just relax and stop pushing her own concoctions (although some of them may be really good if you give them a chance).

Also, play the gratitude card. Tell her she’s so good to you in so many other ways that she deserves to rest at the end of day. Make lots of healthy dinners and hopefully you can ride things out until the big freeze-up.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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