Don’t shame yourselves over sonorous session

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/09/2024 (413 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: There was a nice cool breeze the other night, so my husband and I opened the window of our bedroom.

We had shut the curtains, but we forgot about the window later on when we ended up having passionate sex. Suddenly we heard a voice outside yelling, “Yeah! Giv’er!”

I’m so embarrassed I haven’t gone outside to rake the lawn since. I go straight to my car in the garage, and drive off.

We’ve been in the neighbourhood for a year and really don’t know anybody well. People we’ve met here seem like nice, respectable people. How do I work on my yard, not knowing it might’ve been one — or all — of my close neighbours who heard us having crazy, loud sex?

— Embarrassed, Sage Creek

Dear Embarrassed: There’s no point in apologizing, or even ducking your head when you go out the door to your vehicle. In fact, the people who heard you might be a bit jealous. As for who exactly heard you, it sounds like a couple of young guys going by — maybe even on bikes.

Relax! Nobody complained to the police or left a nasty note on your door, so, you’re not going to get any criticism at this point. Just make sure to close your windows from now on. (The neighbours will just have to stoke up their own sex lives, without your inspiration.)

Instead of beating yourselves up, joke about it with your partner. It can be part of your, “Remember the time…?” conversations, and may inspire more lusty romance on a boring night!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a big fall girl — a true fan of autumn and the beautiful changing leaves. I get feeling cosy, and actually quite turned on! I want to light a candle, decorate and put on some trashy reality TV.

My boyfriend — who is decidedly not a fan of these things — complains about me. Meanwhile he’s busy watching football and I could swear he’s turned on when he’s jumping around in front of the TV.

I need help getting him to at least shut his unromantic mouth, and stop making fun of me for my love of autumn.

— Out of Ideas, St. Boniface

Dear Out of Ideas: I can hear some of my male readers saying, “This guy doesn’t know what’s good for him. I’ll light her candles for her!” They might actually realize making fun of your lover’s passionate interests decreases the feelings required to have passionate sex.

A better idea? Feed each other’s passions. That doesn’t mean you have to participate in activities that bore you, together. You might support your partner by buying two tickets to a game, so your guy can take a buddy who’d be great company. That kind of generosity might inspire him to do something like a taking sunset evening at FortWhyte Alive as the ducks and geese fly in. That’s a well-known and magical autumn activity.

Don’t forget less-expensive treats that spell support to partners. A guy could bring special candles home for his lady with autumnal scents. In return, his mate might make or buy special TV treats — and go out with friends to give the guys privacy to party hearty!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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