You liberated self from ‘queen’; don’t look back now

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just ran into a ghost! I was in a well-known shopping mall when I saw my wife from another life. She was walking arm-in-arm with a man who was clearly her husband, or lover. She must have felt my wide-eyed stare, because she looked over and waved at me. Her new guy was big — looked like a football player or something. I’m a smaller man.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/09/2024 (686 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just ran into a ghost! I was in a well-known shopping mall when I saw my wife from another life. She was walking arm-in-arm with a man who was clearly her husband, or lover. She must have felt my wide-eyed stare, because she looked over and waved at me. Her new guy was big — looked like a football player or something. I’m a smaller man.

Since then, my ex — the Queen of Mean — has tried to get in touch with me, and has left cute little messages. I want to see her again, in a way, but I don’t need the pain. It took me a year of therapy visits to get over her. Why is she calling me now?

— Can’t Sleep, Tuxedo

Dear Can’t Sleep: She was once your ruling queen, and thankfully, now she’s not. Keep it that way! She may have wanted to see if she could still get to you and work her magic. Don’t call her back. If it’s bothering you too much not to respond, see your former therapist for a refresher session. It’ll be worth the time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m not even five-feet tall, but I’ve eaten my way up to just over 200 pounds. My young husband is insisting I lose the weight, because I “don’t look like the woman he married three years ago.” Those words are burned into my brain now, because they’re hurtful, and sadly true.

I’m scared to go to my doctor, as I’ve gained so much weight. For some reason I don’t understand, I get depressed every day, and then I eat like a pig. I feel terrible about it.

I also don’t feel loving towards my husband anymore, and I don’t want to have sex with him. Our marriage isn’t what I thought it would be, but I don’t know exactly why. I don’t love him and I don’t want to have children with him now, even though I would love to start a family. I still want a family of two or three kids one day. Please help me!

— So Messed Up, North End

Dear Messed Up: Not wanting to continue your present marriage, nor to start a family with your husband, could certainly be part, or all, of the reason you’re overeating.

But this can’t continue! Depression due to feeling trapped in a relationship is serious issue, as is putting on a lot of weight in a short period of time. See your physician ASAP and ask for help in finding a psychologist or psychiatrist to dig out everything that’s eating you.

Then you can get to the root of the problem — which may involve breaking up with your present husband, sooner rather than later.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 22, and I met a very strange girl at the bar in the summer. Now that it’s becoming fall, I’m trying to shake her off — with no luck!

She’s 25, but acts like she’s 18. She has a pretty face and lots of weird and scary-looking tattoos. I stupidly took her home to my apartment a few times in the summer because she wanted sex with me — and I’m lonely a lot of the time.

I treated her nicely, because that’s the way I am. But now she says she’s “in love” with me, and won’t let me go. I’ve totally stopped calling her, but she knows my favourite hangouts and she always finds me by the end of the night. Why would she bother tracking me down? I’m not that good-looking and my ex- girlfriend told me I had no imagination when it came to sex.

This woman scares me with her crazy sex! I just want her to go away. I think, “What if she got pregnant by me, and I got stuck with her and her child?” I wish I’d never slept with her the first time! How do I get rid of her now?

— Can’t Shake Her, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Can’t Shake Her: This young woman can’t get pregnant by you, if you completely stop having sex with her — not even an occasional tryst on a lonely night.

Explore new places in a totally different neighbourhood now, and start frequenting them. Try to spend some without her “running into you” at all. Let her get over you and hook up with a new guy, who may actually care for her. That’d be best for both of you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

New lab a win for Winnipeg’s long game

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

New lab a win for Winnipeg’s long game

Editorial 4 minute read 2:02 AM CDT

It would be easy to overlook the announcement this week that the federal government was green-lighting a quarter-billion-dollar expansion of the National Microbiology Laboratory’s Canadian Science Centre for Human and Animal Health on Arlington Street.

Easy to overlook, in part, because it will take a decade to build the new 140,000-square-foot laboratory specializing in medical countermeasures.

But make no mistake, this latest investment from Ottawa galvanizes Winnipeg’s reputation as a global leader in the research of the world’s most infectious diseases. It also confirms that a wager made by Manitoba political leaders nearly 40 years ago is paying off in spades.

The existing NML was, to be frank, hastily conceived compensation for one of the most egregious examples of political pork-barrelling ever seen in Canada.

Read
2:02 AM CDT

Watching while we work

Tory McNally 6 minute read Preview

Watching while we work

Tory McNally 6 minute read 2:02 AM CDT

For many employees, the idea that their employer might be tracking how long they spend at their keyboard, how often they move their mouse, or whether they are actively working throughout the day feels unsettling. For many employers, however, workplace surveillance is increasingly viewed as another management tool, particularly as hybrid and remote work become more common. The recent news that TD plans to monitor certain employees’ activity during the workday has reignited a conversation that has been quietly growing for several years: where is the line between legitimate oversight and excessive monitoring?

The reality is that workplace surveillance is nothing new. Employers have long monitored attendance, reviewed security camera footage, tracked company vehicles using GPS, audited expense reports, and reviewed internet usage on company-owned devices. What has changed is the sophistication of the technology. Today’s software can record login times, monitor application usage, track keystrokes, capture screenshots, analyze email activity, and even generate reports ranking employees based on their perceived productivity.

This naturally raises an important question. Does increased surveillance actually make people work harder?

The answer is not nearly as straightforward as many organizations hope.

Read
2:02 AM CDT

Indigenous leaders accuse provincial government of 'racist, political propaganda, gaslighting'

Dylan Robertson 1 minute read Preview

Indigenous leaders accuse provincial government of 'racist, political propaganda, gaslighting'

Dylan Robertson 1 minute read Monday, Jul. 19, 2021

Manitoba’s grand chiefs are calling on Premier Brian Pallister to resign, as his party tries to quell frustration over ahistorical residential-school comments he and his new Indigenous reconciliation minister have made.

Read
Monday, Jul. 19, 2021

Israel: the new political divide?

David McLaughlin 5 minute read Preview

Israel: the new political divide?

David McLaughlin 5 minute read 2:02 AM CDT

Abdul won and Avi is thrilled.

Federal NDP Leader Avi Lewis emerged from electoral hiding to tell us how it is “exhilarating to witness” a “wave of progressive populism” in the United States. He was referring to the upset winner of Tuesday’s heavily-watched Michigan Senate primary race, Abdul El-Sayed, who barely prevailed over his establishment opponent for the Democratic nomination.

Premier Wab Kinew’s favourite New Democrat (after himself) steadfastly hesitates to take a risk and run for a House of Commons seat in a byelection to kickstart Canada’s version of progressive populism. No hesitation, though, in Lewis immediately basking in the reflected glory of those international comrades and fellow travellers who do.

Writing about the state of Canada’s New Democrats feels like a hate crime — you hate wasting your time — and this is no exception. A better story is what’s driving this modest but undeniable political movement in U.S. politics and whether it might gain traction here in Canada.

Read
2:02 AM CDT

SNC rushed to prosecutors for remediation deal

Andy Blatchford, The Canadian Press 4 minute read Preview

SNC rushed to prosecutors for remediation deal

Andy Blatchford, The Canadian Press 4 minute read Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2019

OTTAWA - Representatives for SNC-Lavalin hustled to connect with federal prosecutors after the Liberal government quietly introduced a proposal last year to allow corporations to strike settlement deals and avoid criminal prosecution, court documents show.

The company's lawyers acted so quickly to position their client for a so-called remediation agreement that they contacted prosecutors weeks before lawmakers, even Liberals, were even aware the Trudeau government had tucked the legislation into its 582-page omnibus budget bill.

The Montreal-based engineering and construction firm is at the centre of a controversy that has enveloped the Prime Minister's Office. Since last week, the government has seen the high-profile resignations of one cabinet member — former justice minister and attorney general Jody Wilson-Raybould, who became the minister of veterans affairs in January — and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's principal secretary, Gerald Butts.

SNC-Lavalin worked hard to avoid criminal proceedings by proposing a remediation agreement, but in September the prosecutor's office declined to invite the company to negotiate. A guilty verdict on bribery and corruption charges has been characterized as an existential threat for SNC-Lavalin and its employees because the company would be barred from bidding on government contracts in Canada for 10 years. Much of its work is in designing, building and operating public infrastructure.

Read
Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2019

‘I had no idea that I built a bad guy’: Three artists talk about the John A Macdonald statues they made — and what’s happening to them

Steve McKinley - Halifax Bureau, Toronto Star 14 minute read Preview

‘I had no idea that I built a bad guy’: Three artists talk about the John A Macdonald statues they made — and what’s happening to them

Steve McKinley - Halifax Bureau, Toronto Star 14 minute read Monday, Jun. 14, 2021

Defaced. Knocked down. Decapitated. Taken away. Artists Mike Halterman, Ruth Abernathy and John Dann talk about statues and monuments amid the outrage over residential schools

Read
Monday, Jun. 14, 2021