Jumping to jealousy has trashed this romance

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/05/2025 (486 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It’s been like seeing a ghost since I got back to work. I can see my recent girlfriend, but she acts like I don’t exist. I can tell she doesn’t like working here anymore and her unhappy face makes me feel nervous and sick to my stomach.

She’s been sitting where she asked to be moved to the day after she got home from her holiday in Quebec and heard some news about me through the grapevine. I took a friend of hers out for a fancy dinner while she was away in Montreal with a single girlfriend of hers from here and two others from Quebec. I was feeling jealous and thought she had to be cheating on me when she was away.

Last week the friend who travelled with her told me what a jerk I was for not believing in my true-blue girlfriend.

So, I tried to apologize to my ex, but all she had to say to me was, “You wouldn’t believe me and I have no time for men like you.” How can I get her back? I love her so much. She won’t take my calls and ignores my texts.

— Want Her Back, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Want Her Back: The problem is she doesn’t want you back with the way your jealous mind has led you into bad decisions.

It’s time to move on and also to look into what’s driving your destructive jealous thoughts. See if your workplace health plan covers any personal counselling, and even it doesn’t, you might want make the investment anyway, so you don’t repeat this.

As for your co-worker ex-girlfriend, stay off her case, and if you do have to communicate or work together as part of your job, be a professional and stick to the task at hand.

Who knows? If you take your introspective work seriously, maybe things will warm up between the two of down the road, but don’t get too caught up in that possibility. Plus, workplace romances can be difficult, even at the best of times.

If you find it too hard to see your former partner on a daily basis, you may want to consider transferring to a different part of your workplace operation (if that’s even a possibility) or think about finding a different job.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend touches me like he thinks I’m a china doll who might break — but I’m not. I’m a seriously athletic woman who also loves a real romp. How can I tell my guy that without sounding like a female beast?

— Not Fragile, Crescentwood

Dear Not Fragile: Before your next intimate encounter, smile and tell him, “Let me take charge this time.” Then show him the degree of touch and enthusiasm you really like.

Maybe on another occasion when you’re relaxing before lovemaking, tell him something else you would enjoy. Some cautious people need to get information or instruction on what’s welcome before they can act, so help him out a bit.

Nobody should want to disappoint their lover.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography