There’s plenty wrong with this picture

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/01/2025 (644 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new boyfriend claims nothing can wake him up once he’s in a deep sleep. So the other night, when I was staying over, I was lying there awake while he snored.

I sat up, slithered out of the bed and tip-toed into his computer room. I started to look at his bookshelf collection. It was pretty boring, but below the work-related books on the floor under the bottom shelf, I spotted some picture albums.

My eye caught a red album, unlike the others, so I pulled it out. It was an amateur porn collection featuring himself in a male bikini and otherwise completely naked, surrounded by some girls who looked college age — also naked.

I had no idea my boyfriend looked so hot then — he was young and fit. You could see he was into weightlifting. Wow. You could tell he knew he was hot and enjoyed the posing

I was not listening for footsteps. Suddenly, my boyfriend popped up beside me, grabbed the album and said, “These pictures are private — and none of your business.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Then he calmed down and got kind of sly-looking and said the only way he would let me get away with snooping in his stuff is if I posed for some hot photos for him.

I said no way, we fought for a while, then I left.

Today he started calling me and apologizing, and whining, “One little nude shot of you is all I wanted.”

— Nobody’s Nude Model, North Kildonan

Dear Nobody’s Nude: Don’t even consider posing for a nude picture to make things feel even. Tell your new guy you couldn’t be less interested and you’re finished if he continues to hassle you.

Images like this tend to end up in the oddest places, and it would be embarrassing if a nude photo of you got into the wrong hands.

What if you stayed with him for life? It would be particularly embarrassing once you’re older and have a family for the kids to find dad’s naughty photos.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s only January and already my husband has rented a cabin, a boat and the works for this summer without my input.

We are newly married, and he didn’t even ask me to chip in one idea toward these plans. He didn’t even tell me about the rental until there was no going back on the plan. The money is paid and he gets his way. I’m so mad at him.

I reminded him we’re a married couple now and should be sharing this kind of idea. He just laughed and said, “Where would you have the money to pay for a place like this for more than a week?” He said he wanted to surprise me.

Baloney. He already has all his friends with cabins near his family’s cottage in Ontario, and I have all my family and friends at another lake in Manitoba. He just wants to get his way so he left me — “the love of his life” — completely out of the decision.

By the way, this is supposed to be our baby-making summer as we’re not a young couple.

How should I deal with this? I’m too old to be manipulated.

— Furious Bride, West End

Dear Furious Bride: This may be the last summer with so many options since starting a family is part of the immediate plan. You and your husband probably both have your own vehicles, so that’s great. If you don’t like the situation, you can leave.

You can go to your husband’s rental until you get tired of it and weary of the people who go with that deal. Your husband can accompany you to your own family’s lake at different times.

Not everybody enjoys being with relatives for entertainment on 2a 4-7 basis, so live it up with all the friends you can this summer before you’re on the way to baby No. 1.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography