You’re right to be told off for toying with heart

Maureen Scurfield Miss Lonelyhearts
By: Maureen Scurfield Posted:

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Just for a laugh I asked my old boyfriend from high school out for lunch on Valentine’s Day. He lost it on the phone and said, “A thousand times no! You broke my heart, and I can’t afford to be with you again, period.”

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/01/2025 (619 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Just for a laugh I asked my old boyfriend from high school out for lunch on Valentine’s Day. He lost it on the phone and said, “A thousand times no! You broke my heart, and I can’t afford to be with you again, period.”

Then he hung up. Bang! That was pretty rude, don’t you think?

— Red-Faced Ex, Fort Garry

Dear Red-Faced: It sounds like you got a piece of truth thrown at you, and you deserved it! You were looking for was an ego massage from a guy who still might be half in love with you.

You asked this ex out for kicks — a little excitement at his expense. No wonder he was mad! It hurts people to be revisited by an old love who wants to toy with their heart.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Help! I want to buy a Valentine’s Day gift for my sweetheart that will satisfy her. But sadly for her, it’s not going to be the engagement ring she really wants!

She’s a tall woman with long elegant fingers, and I know she wants a big diamond ring, but it’s too soon for me to know if I want to make this relationship permanent.

Plus, I will not be hustled off to her church. Why? I’ve been down a church aisle before and I’m already divorced from wife No. 1.

Would diamond earrings satisfy my new lady, or would that just make things worse? I could buy her fancy diamond heart earrings, and money is not a problem.

At least, tell me if I should warn her she’s not getting an engagement ring or should I just keep my mouth shut and let her find out that night? The thing is, we’re going to her favourite restaurant on Feb. 14 (her idea), so she might be hoping I’m going to ask her to marry me. No!

— Not Ready Engagement, Fort Whyte

Dear Not Ready: Look, nobody wants to get married to someone who isn’t 100 per cent sure, and that includes her. She knows you’ve been married already. But this doesn’t mean jewelry is a no-no from you.

Say something right away like, “I’m not ready for another engagement, but I’d love to give you a beautiful piece of jewelry on Valentine’s Day. How would you feel about that?” You might be disappointed, or you might be relieved by her answer. There might be nothing to stop her from accepting a bracelet or a pendant decorated with her birthstone, if she likes that.

So stop guessing and have a real discussion with your lady, ASAP.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Valentine’s Day and he said, “A tour around your old neighbourhood you’ve told me about — good places and bad!”

Why would he ask for that strange thing? Does he think I’m making stuff up? I wasn’t.

It was never a nice old neighbourhood, and it’s worse now. I feel embarrassed, like he was asking me to show him how bad my former life was. What do you think?

— Upset and Curious to Know, Osborne Village

Dear Curious: It may be this boyfriend is genuinely interested in you and wants to see the setting of your past life. That doesn’t mean he’ll think any less of you. What it may mean is he really cares, and he’s deeply interested in what you’ve been through when times were difficult. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother got pregnant with me on Valentine’s night 16 years ago and I can’t tell you how many times she’s told me that. I don’t want to think about her in the process of getting pregnant with my dad! Why does she do this, and what can I say back to her, to get her to finally stop?

— Sick of It! Birds Hill

Dear Sick of It: Don’t yell, but use clear words: “Mom, it makes me feel embarrassed to think about you and dad having sex, even if it created me. I am the wrong person to be sharing this with, so share those memories with dad from now on. I don’t want to hear them again!”

She may call you “oversensitive,” but she’ll stop. It’s possible the reason she’s been reminding you, is because she likes to think about it — and your dad has already heard the old story too often.

Suggest to mom that one of her old girlfriends might enjoy exchanging similar stories, rather than her daughter.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Related Articles

Ghosting down to being spooked by the truth End mutual sneakiness, share real feelings Au naturel cooking experience can sizzle Harbouring decades-old grudge has no upside Don’t despair, seek mate with similar work ethic Best to find out what’s wrong with this picture Party blackout signals need for serious reflection Deepening porn reliance more than a turnoff Keep your cool and enjoy your new look No sense in putting off seeing old flame

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Report Error Submit a Tip

Advertisement

Learn more about Winnipeg Free Press Advertising solutions

More Stories

Can’t cut your way to being a better city

Molly McCracken 4 minute read Yesterday at 2:00 AM CDT

The powers that be in Winnipeg have pushed for cheap property taxes for decades. As a result, the city doesn’t have enough money to balance the books, let alone maintain infrastructure, deliver services and respond to challenges like homelessness and the toxic drug crisis.

Winnipeg’s fiscal problem stems from decades of keeping property-tax increases below inflation and relying on inadequate revenues to fund a growing city. The result? Today, Winnipeg spends less money per person on city services than it did in 2001.

A look at the books at city hall is stark. Winnipeg has run a deficit almost every year since the COVID-19 pandemic because of climate-change-driven heavy ice and snowstorms, higher fuel costs and increased policing overtime. During this time, city council tried to cut and freeze public service spending where it could; as a result, community services have been cut to the bone.

Departments responsible for what makes a city a good place to live have been squeezed. Since 1999, community services — responsible for libraries, recreation, swimming lessons and aspects of Winnipeg’s poverty-reduction work — has 149 fewer staff positions, an 18 per cent reduction, even as the city’s population has grown 35 per cent, or by 220,000 people.

Tim Smith / Brandon Sun files The decimation of the buffalo is a prime example of human wantonness, as explained in Neil Griffin’s Endings: Encounters with Extinction.

Naturalist offers personal reflections on the finite nature of life

Reviewed by Chris Smith 3 minute read Preview

Naturalist offers personal reflections on the finite nature of life

Reviewed by Chris Smith 3 minute read Saturday, Sep. 26, 2026

Canadian poet and naturalist Neil Griffin has written a historic and personal globe-spanning account of massive extinctions over centuries, caused by weather disruptions and by mankind. It’s a detailed, well-written account, sometimes with a touch of humour, but predominantly a frightening and depressing look at the losses and consequences.

Griffin opens by describing artifacts on his desk, “a pocket gallery of past and present ruin” — memento mori collected during his former life as a wildlife biologist and “cold reminders of what was and will not be again.”

The author combines geological and natural history with observations of his own, made during travels to destinations such as Canada’s boreal wetlands, the jungles of Belize, Kenya’s savannahs and the mountains of Rwanda — all places where he encountered endangered species.

Griffin takes readers through Earth’s five mass extinction events caused by upsets in the carbon capture cycle, planetary wobbles causing climate change, volcanic eruptions, meteors and how the “bad behaviour of Earth’s inhabitants” impact so many species. More than 99 per cent of Earth’s total plant, animal and fungal life is now extinct, and human beings will also be extinct someday, he writes, recognizing that extinction is a natural phenomenon, but that current extinction rates far exceed the norm.

Read
Saturday, Sep. 26, 2026

Puppies, stocks — ‘zoomies’ abound

Andrew Froese 4 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

This spring, I adopted a three-month-old rescued German Shepherd mix. To say she is easily excitable is an understatement.

It is not really her fault. A puppy’s frontal cortex, the part of the brain that helps with decision-making and impulse control, is still developing. When an older dog, or a human, gets tired, we generally understand we should rest. Puppies have not quite figured that out. They often interpret tiredness as a signal something is wrong, which makes them more alert, more reactive and harder to settle.

That creates a feedback loop. The puppy gets tired, which makes her frantic, which makes her more tired, which makes her even more frantic. Eventually, this becomes what people call the “zoomies”: frantic sprinting, biting, jumping and general chaos.

From the outside, it looks like the puppy has too much energy. In reality, the opposite is true. The zoomies are not a sign of excess energy. They are a sign the puppy is overtired and does not know it yet.

Yielding attraction

Yielding attraction

Joel Schlesinger 6 minute read Preview

Yielding attraction

Joel Schlesinger 6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Yield is a Rorschach test for investors. Where one see opportunity in high payouts from an investment, another sees high risk.

Consider bonds: yields are moving higher, which implies higher risk in the market, but to an investor considering buying a bond, higher yields represent higher income.

For most of the past 18 years, bond yields have been near historical lows and investors have sought alternatives.

“Canada’s population is aging, with a growing number of investors approaching or entering retirement and looking for more income,” says Pat Sommerville, co-chief executive officer of Hamilton ETFs in Toronto.

Read
2:01 AM CDT
Russell Wangersky photo The sun breaks through the clouds in Gusset’s Cove.

Nature doesn’t waste its time

Russell Wangersky 6 minute read Preview

Nature doesn’t waste its time

Russell Wangersky 6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Sixteen months in and the black burn from a forest fire somehow transitions from the foreground to the background. I’m not sure if it actually softens, if it really changes, or if is just that your eyes, now used to the background, start seeing less of it.

One thing’s for certain: nature doesn’t waste any time taking its opportunities. In the sheltered ground behind where the shed over our Newfoundland root cellar used to be, a forest of sorrel has arisen, its dark-green leaves with their distinctive double horns at their base crowding in tight amongst each other.

It’s no surprise: sorrel is new beginnings, often the first plant I see recultivating abandoned gardens or disturbed ground and I’m happy to have it around always. Its distinctive lemony bite is a fine addition to salads, though we’re not likely to choose it from that particular root cellar patch. Not with the way the asphalt roof shingles burned right around there. I shovelled up the heavy pats of congealed black tar last spring, right after the fire, bringing them up from inside the cellar in big plastic buckets to send to safe disposal. But there’s probably plenty of tar still in the ground and out of sight — hardly an appetizing thought.

From other areas, maybe we will eventually sample sorrel: it depends on how close they were to the house or shed or anything else that burned. And so very much burned. The province has said gardens are safe from contamination by fire-retardant chemicals as nothing has shown up in tests. But we know what way the wind was blowing — what burned, and where, is always part of the equation. It’s a strange calculation to make: I’m just glad our house wasn’t heated with fuel oil, was too old to contain asbestos, and didn’t have indoor plumbing for decades.

Read
2:01 AM CDT

Letters, Oct. 10

6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Investing in adult vaccines

Last week, provincial and territorial health ministers held an emergency meeting on the looming expiration of federal health funding and the financial pressures facing health systems across the country.

As they gather again in Winnipeg later this month, there is a critical piece missing from the conversation — prevention.

Canada has a strong public-health tradition, but its gains cannot be taken for granted. In 2021, Canada reported zero measles cases. By 2025, more than 5,400 cases had been reported, costing Canada its measles elimination status and Manitoba saw this firsthand.