Light-fingered lover may not be over risky ‘hobby’

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/03/2024 (880 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just started dating a woman who told me she enjoyed shoplifting in the past. She says stores make ridiculous profits and they could afford her little hobby. I warned her to never start shoplifting again with me in her life. I’m starting to wonder if she will anyway, as I know she misses the challenge.

I am still with her because I’ve never had better sex with a woman. Her crazy stories turn me on. I don’t even know if they’re true. Please help me sort this out.

— Weirdly Confused, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Weirdly Confused: You’re getting a thrill enjoying your girlfriend’s heightened sexual energy when she talks about shoplifting. She loves that, as bragging to people is a big part of the continued excitement for her. She enjoys the startled looks as she recounts her adventures — real or imagined.

But be careful. There’s a chance she’s still shoplifting, or is about to start again, and hasn’t confessed that to you yet. That’s dangerous. You really need to cool off on this mate, so picture this scenario: The police are at her door, and you and the light-fingered lady are caught in her bedroom among all her stolen merchandise. That’s a situation you don’t need.

This woman may be sexy, but she’s big trouble, and you know it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I recently retired and sold our house, so we could live our dream together — buying an RV and driving around North America.

Well, guess what? He just announced he doesn’t want to stay married and we’re through.

He confessed that he is bisexual. I’m in total shock. He has been secretly seeing men for years, and now he wants to be “open and honest” with me and explore his other side freely.

The worst thing is he already has a special male partner. I feel sick. He’s telling me all this and there’s nothing I can do about it. He says he has wasted too much time already not being honest with himself.

So, he wants a divorce. I guess I’m nothing now — just a friend. Even sadder, my travelling dreams have been crushed by a husband who was living a lie with me. I’ve cried every night for weeks.

My kids aren’t helping me at all. They think I’m over-reacting and that their dad deserves to be free to be himself after spending so many years in the closet. They say they want what’s right for him now while he still has time.

Well, what about me? I‘m left with nothing.

— Kick in the Head, North Kildonan

Dear Kick in the Head: Your soon-to-be ex-husband has revealed he doesn’t share your RV travel dreams anymore — if he ever did — and he has another partner. He would have been harbouring deep resentment if he accompanied you on the RV trail and it would have been awful for you both.

In the city, he can see his friends, new partner and the kids you share are OK with his confession. In fact, they are supporting him. On the road, there would just be the two of you, feeling terrible.

It’s time for you to accept your freedom and pursue your own dreams. A counsellor or psychologist could help you speed up the healing process. You should also know there’s no need to wait to fulfil your travel dreams until you finally meet a new man and become emotionally committed. So, the sooner you get your divorce in the works and your money situation sorted out, the sooner you can hit the highway.

In the meantime, take a deep-dive into websites about solo RV trips. A lot of people are going adventuring without a partner now, and they often travel in caravans for company.

For fun, check out some of the best vehicles, camping spots, fun destinations, music festivals, craft fairs and beaches.

Put up a cork-board, and tack discoveries on to it. This could turn into an exciting new adventure for you, once you refocus.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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