Hubby’s solo spring cabin fixation a bit fishy

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/03/2024 (875 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR READERS: I have to smile when reading my Miss Lonelyhearts mail during a March thaw. Just like the animals we think we’re superior to, humans start getting restless and vie for mates when the ice gets melting and the warm winds blow. Lots of hormones, noisy spats and yowling going on.

I can hear my mama Cynthia, who grew up on a Manitoba farm, saying to us kids, “How do you know it’s spring? The cats are fighting!” And so, my friends, are the humans.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When the weather starts to thaw, my husband starts getting restless. He needs to go to our cabin and do God-knows-what. He’s gone out there alone every spring for three years since the kids left home, and he stays for almost a week. This year I asked to go along.

My request was met with cold silence. Finally I asked why he went so silent when I asked him a reasonable question, and he said, “Because I don’t want you there. You can’t come. That’s my alone time with … uh, me.”

I’m no dummy. It was a lie.

I realized his answer had something to do with who else would be there — and it wouldn’t be me. So I asked who he would want to be there. He turned red.

If I go out there and find him with a woman, or a man, I don’t know what I’ll do. Staying home and waiting is not an option either. Please help, ASAP.

— Going Crazy Not Knowing, The Maples

Dear Going Crazy: You have to ask your husband outright if he’s going there to meet someone — woman, man, friend, lover? — and if so, who is it? There is a chance he does just go alone.

Perhaps he just doesn’t want to be with you 365 days a year, but this does sound suspicious.

Have you considered maybe he doesn’t go there at all? It’s time to push him to end this mystery, which is driving you crazy, or consider your own option to end the relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend’s ex-partner, a guy who had a child with her, is constantly emailing and texting her — like up to 10 times a day. She will block him for a period of time — three or four hours — but because of the kid, she says she has to be somewhat available.

When she doesn’t reply fast enough, her ex sulks and sometimes doesn’t show up to get their boy for the next visit. Then the little guy cries for daddy and blames mommy for keeping him away.

I get so frustrated and mad. I want to go see her ex and convince him with my fists to man up. But my girlfriend says that’s just asking for a bigger problem because her ex-boyfriend would put me in jail.

I’ve had enough. Friends argue it’s her problem and to dump her and the kid, but she is my angel and whatever hurts her I’m going to try to stop.

— Her New Guy, West End

Dear New Guy: Your girlfriend’s former partner dislikes phone conversations because she can just hang up. It’s over in a few minutes. But he isn’t finished with their relationship and wants more contact. If he messages her all day and night and the words stay in front of her eyes, it’s almost like they never broke up.

There is one thing you need to check, and soon: does your girlfriend really want to cut out most of the contact with her ex? Or is it possible she enjoys the competition between you and him, and the sparks that fly? Be careful with this woman. Something doesn’t seem quite right.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography