Don’t belittle or overreact to mate’s vicarious thrills

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend has a strange thing for celebrities — movie stars, singers, athletes — anybody in the spotlight. She reads all the gossip magazines and knows all the dirt. She refers to all the stars by their first names and nicknames, as if they’re intimate friends. She knows all their exes.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/03/2024 (872 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend has a strange thing for celebrities — movie stars, singers, athletes — anybody in the spotlight. She reads all the gossip magazines and knows all the dirt. She refers to all the stars by their first names and nicknames, as if they’re intimate friends. She knows all their exes.

I thought it was a joke at first, and laughed about it, but now I wonder if she’s just a little bent.

Watching the spring award shows (all of them so far), she’s talked to the stars on the TV as if they could hear her, yelling things like “Oh, come on, Taylor. (Swift). Travis Kelce is a giant loser. Give me a call, and I’ll straighten you out.” She doesn’t even need me in the room, she’s so busy with the stars and actually speaking to them.

I talked her down after the Oscars show when she lost her mind yapping to everybody. She was so animated she seemed to think she was talking directly to them.

I tried to reason with her afterwards, and she said, “You’re so out of it. You just don’t understand.”

I admire certain hockey players and enjoy interviews with them, but I don’t get all wild-eyed and start talking to the TV set and hopping up and down when they score. What is wrong with this woman?

— Alarmed, St. Boniface

Dear Alarmed: There may be nothing wrong with your girlfriend. Have you watched a televised hockey or football game with male friends recently, particularly a live one? Men shout, bang seats and roar instructions at the athletes they love and hate.

Some guys barely have a voice left on the drive home. They just love to be part of the game — living vicariously and going wild. They may have secretly wanted to be a star of some kind, but didn’t have what it took.

Your partner may have wished she could have been a movie or music star, which is why she gets so deeply into it and identifies with the ones she admires.

Sometimes the lines can blur between fantasy and reality when watching exciting performances.

Sadly, you’re acting like a spoilsport. The right guy for her would be watching her get excited and asking himself, ”How can I help make a little of this fun come true in real life for her?” That might involve researching the filmmaking scene in Manitoba, and passing on tips to her for getting involved.

If she’s more of a singer, you two could hit a bar for live-band karaoke.

Can you do something positive with her that recognizes her fascination with performing and fame? It could be a lot of fun if you can enjoy it, too.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I find myself staring at this gorgeous new man at work and he’ll say something funny like, ”What are you looking at? Do I have something in my teeth?” Then I have to make something up, fast. I can’t say, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Then today, I got some sad news — the worst thing. He has a girlfriend and she’s coming to Winnipeg to live with him.

Why did he not mention her before? I feel crushed. I was envisioning us down the line, getting together and falling in love.

He is my ideal man, even though he’s eight years older than me, almost 35. How do I get past this?

I’ve had to run to the bathroom twice and cry since I heard the news. This is the worst. Should I quit my job and get out of here?

— Don’t Stand a Chance Now, Transcona

Dear No Chance: Whoa. Quitting your job without a new one to move into could make your situation worse. This guy may be job-hopping up the ladder of success and his next move might not be within your company. If the present job is just a stepping stone for him, you may not need to go anywhere.

So, ask him casually about his ladder-to-success plan, and he might even tell you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

‘I wouldn’t change my journey’

Taylor Allen 5 minute read Preview

‘I wouldn’t change my journey’

Taylor Allen 5 minute read Yesterday at 7:45 PM CDT

Jake Ceresna looks exactly how you’d imagine a professional football player would.

The 6-5, 290-pound defensive end for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers has a hulking, broad-shouldered frame built on a pair of tree-trunk legs.

But considering where he came from, it’s rather remarkable that he’s been giving opposing quarterbacks nightmares in the pros for a decade.

For starters, he hails from New Fairfield, Conn. The list of pro football players from the town of approximately 14,000 people starts and ends with Ceresna.

Read
Yesterday at 7:45 PM CDT

‘It will probably be in the best shape that it’s ever been in’: Mantario Trail to reopen in June

Maggie Macintosh 3 minute read Preview

‘It will probably be in the best shape that it’s ever been in’: Mantario Trail to reopen in June

Maggie Macintosh 3 minute read Sunday, May. 24, 2026

The Mantario Trail is anticipated to reopen at the end of June, owing to volunteers’ “remarkable progress” on restoring the popular route that had been devastated by wildfires.

Outdoor enthusiasts are celebrating the province’s latest update on the roughly 62-kilometre trail in eastern Manitoba that’s been closed for more than a year.

“It will probably be in the best shape that it’s ever been in because of the new stuff that’s going to be put up — the signage and everything,” said Gilles Boulley, president of the South Whiteshell Trail Association.

Boulley called the multipurpose trail that straddles the Manitoba and Ontario border, “one of the gems of the (local) trail system.”

Read
Sunday, May. 24, 2026

Transit installing driver-activated emergency-alert system

Joyanne Pursaga 3 minute read Preview

Transit installing driver-activated emergency-alert system

Joyanne Pursaga 3 minute read Thursday, Dec. 9, 2021

All Winnipeg Transit buses will soon be equipped to warn bystanders and motorists to call 911 instead of boarding the vehicles while an emergency is taking place.

The city is now installing a system that displays “Emergency Call 911” followed by “Do Not Board Bus” on electronic message boards that are visible only from the outside. When a driver activates the system, the message will also be sent to Winnipeg Transit’s control centre.

The entire 645-bus fleet will be upgraded with the new safety feature by Dec. 15.

“This emergency-signal system ensures another layer of protection for our operators and our passengers by ensuring help arrives as quickly as possible,” said Greg Ewankiw, Transit’s director.

Read
Thursday, Dec. 9, 2021

Democracy is a civic election issue

Erna Buffie 4 minute read Preview

Democracy is a civic election issue

Erna Buffie 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Scott Gillingham should be worried — very, very worried. Not just because he’ll likely win the upcoming mayoral race for no better reason than the lack of a tenable, progressive alternative, but because longtime, and in some cases, progressive councillors are currently quitting his administration.

And they’re not going quietly.

Just take Coun. Sherri Rollins’ (Fort Rouge – East Fort Garry) recent announcement that she would not be seeking re-election. When she cited the reasons she won’t be running again, she dropped a bit of a bombshell.

In addition to citing the mayor’s lack of transparency on issues such as homelessness, she also observed that he and his advisers “increasingly sideline the public service.”

Read
2:00 AM CDT

IOC president Bach discusses ‘challenges’ for 2026 Games

Andrew Dampf, The Associated Press 6 minute read Preview

IOC president Bach discusses ‘challenges’ for 2026 Games

Andrew Dampf, The Associated Press 6 minute read Friday, Sep. 16, 2022

ROME (AP) — Costly construction delays, a leadership vacancy linked to a volatile political climate and a lack of sponsors amid a spreading financial crisis has prompted International Olympic Committee president Thomas Bach to acknowledge the “challenges” facing organizers of the 2026 Winter Games in Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo.

With the IOC’s coordination commission visit to the Milan and Cortina venues postponed by three months to December because of national elections in Italy slated for later this month, it was left to Bach to handle matters during a visit with outgoing premier Mario Draghi before receiving an award from the Italian Olympic Committee.

“As always before Olympic Games, there are challenges — in particular light of this new emerging world order and the financial and economic crisis,” Bach said Friday.

“But we have overcome some challenges in the last couple of years," Bach added, referring to games held in Tokyo and Beijing amid the coronavirus pandemic. “So I’m not too worried because we know about the enthusiasm, efficiency and the dedication of our Italian friends.”

Read
Friday, Sep. 16, 2022

Physician watchdog under fire for ‘outrageous’ policy

Katrina Clarke 6 minute read Preview

Physician watchdog under fire for ‘outrageous’ policy

Katrina Clarke 6 minute read Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2022

The Manitoba physician watchdog’s policy of deferring its own investigations into allegations of sexual misconduct while a police probe is ongoing is “outrageous” and is further evidence an independent review is needed into the regulatory body, critics say.

Read
Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2022