Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/07/2023 (1110 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I are privacy-loving nudists, and we use tall, folding screens at the beach (with no cracks to peer through) to practise what we believe in. We’ve had no flak from neighbours or beachcombers who come down the beach past our favourite spot in front of our little cabin at the end. Most don’t care what we’re doing.

But now, there’s one big problem — this jerk, who looks like he’s in his 40s, recently bought a cabin with his wife down the beach from us. He walks up our way every single day.

He’s obviously heard my wife and I talking behind the screens, and he’s gotten it into his head that we’re having sex on the beach. Nope, we’re just naked, oiled up and tanning!

He sometimes yells to try to get us to talk to him, but we don’t owe him any explanations, do we? Now he’s started leaving nasty notes regarding sex on the beach, on the outside of our folding screens. What should we do to stop this harassment?

— Nude Tanning a Private Concern, Interlake

Dear Nude Tanning: This man is your only vocal critic so far, but he’s fixated and putting in enough time for 10 people. He’s successful at bullying you because he hasn’t had to face up to you so far. Put an end to that!

Tomorrow in early afternoon, put on your clothes and walk down to his place with your lady, and invite him and his partner for dinner. Say this: “We’re your neighbours and we’d like to invite you for dinner on the beach. We realize you’re not nudists, so we’ll be dressed formally — as in wearing beach clothes. No need to bring anything, as it’s all on us!”

It’s highly likely he will refuse you, but it’s also likely he’ll stop bothering you, after your friendly and generous gesture.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a married woman who enjoys some innocent flirting. I never let it get carried away — just some innocent fun, where I feel good and the person I’m flirting with feels good, too. Well, I overheard my so-called girlfriends talking about me at a group picnic, saying that I “must be craving attention,” by the way I carry on. What?

I haven’t said anything to them yet about hearing their BS comments. Now I feel uncomfortable. Should I confront them, or just let it go and be me?

— Natural Woman, St. Vital

Dear Natural Woman: Flirting within a group of friends can be hurtful, especially if a couple is not getting along that well. Speak to the girlfriend who brought it up, and tell her you overheard what she said. Don’t wait for her awkward response. Just dive in, and tell her you meant no harm and have no interest in her man or any other than your own sweet guy. Exit the scene, and leave her to think about that. Then consider spending more time with other friends outside this group.

You might also put yourself on a diet of “lightly flirting” with people you only see as you go out-and-about with daily business. That way, you’re not hurting anybody close to you, and you’re still having fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: For the first time ever this summer I’m not covering my booty with long shirt-tails! I’m medium-chested with a high, round booty — and that’s finally become a good thing in 2023. Hallelujah! It seems we’ve arrived at the point where women are OK to show off their curves, no matter if they’re front or back curves. But, I must say this: Some women with giant busts and saggy bottoms do not look good, and are spoiling things for the rest of us. What do you think?

— Year of the Round Booty, Crescentwood

Dear Booty Year: Be careful you don’t end up being just as judgy as those people who used to critique your round bottom. Since every body type is coming out of hiding now, the general population could all benefit by being more accepting of the tall, short, fat, skinny, “boobs-y” or “buns-y” body types.

None of this surface stuff is as important as the personality inside. We all need to learn to suspend judgment and get to know the person on the inside before we criticize them. This would be a good year to start with that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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