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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m looking for a woman to love, and I’m a woman in my 50s. I had a husband, but that didn’t work out, and our children are gone now. I’m really lonely and longing for what I really want in my life — a female partner.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/05/2023 (1204 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m looking for a woman to love, and I’m a woman in my 50s. I had a husband, but that didn’t work out, and our children are gone now. I’m really lonely and longing for what I really want in my life — a female partner.

I have a couple of female friends who are in happy lesbian relationships, but they’ve been together for a long time. They seem to have no clue on how to find me a single lady. They just hang out in pairs, much like straight married couples. What can I do?

— Ready For Love, St. Boniface

Dear Ready for Love: The Rainbow Resource Centre (rainbowresourcecentre.org) serves the LGBTTQ+ crowd with counselling on many topics, including where people can go to meet like-minded and like-hearted people. They’re in the process of moving from 170 Scott St. and re-opening May 15 at their new location in the big brick house at 545 Broadway.

Here are some great groups and activities through which you can meet fun and active people in the LGBTTQ+ community:

The Out There Winnipeg group offers board games, social activities and sports such as boxing, billiards, badminton and running. Contact them online at outtherewinnipeg.com.

Out ’n About (outnabouttravel.com) is a travel agency that can help if you’d like to see the world with like-minded companions, who can afford some great trips.

The Rainbow Harmony Project is a fun choir you could look to get involved with, so check out their website at ainbowharmoneyproject.ca if you’d like to join in.

Pride Winnipeg will be staging its big annual events from May 26 to June 4 this year, with the famous Pride Parade happening on the final day. Check out their website at PrideWinnipeg.com. Spring is a great time to get involved with the LGBTTQ+ community, because all the local organizations are going to be involved in Pride events.

Up for some dancing? The Intergenerational Dance is slated for June 3 at the Museum for Human Rights, and is welcoming to all ages. Club 200, with drinks, food and dancing, attracts anyone “of age,” although generally more gay men than women. Fame nightclub on Garry Street attracts a younger dance crowd, with lots of energy.

The Winnipeg Folk Festival in July is also a great place for women to meet women, particularly in the volunteering ranks. The volunteer corps is already working on the big 2023 festival, scheduled for July 6-9.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: What a great time the Jets Whiteout party was! It was electric and I was having a blast.

Then I suddenly felt a man staring at me. Our eyes met and he kept moving closer through the crowd, to get to me. We found a place to stand together and had an amazing time, cheering during the game. I didn’t go back to my friends, just texted them that I was “with a male friend” and didn’t need a ride home.

I didn’t want the night to end, and neither did he. He asked me if he could take me for a drink, so we found a bar, and talked until closing. Then he took me back to his place, and I wanted that. But, as soon as I got through the door and looked around, I saw all the feminine touches. It wasn’t a single man’s place.

I asked him point-blank, “Are you married?” He replied quietly, “My wife works out of town. We have an open relationship.” I’m not into sharing! I asked to be taken home. We rode in complete silence.

But now, I’m embarrassed to say that even though he’s married, he’s all I’ve been thinking about. How do I get him out of my mind? I want to call him so much.

— Restless and Upset, west Winnipeg

Dear Restless: It takes practice to zero in on a woman with your eyes, push through the crowd and go after her with that much confidence. You can bet you were not this man’s first pickup, using this method. You’re still wondering what fireworks might have happened with him, but you’d be even more restless and upset if you had to keep seeing this mover on the sly.

He’s still living with his wife — and you can bet he’s having sex with her. A habitual cheater knows that stopping sex with their spouse — and seeming happier than before — is a tip-off they have someone on the side. He also knew that bringing you into the home he shares with his wife would tell him if you were a practised sneak or not. You weren’t the right kind of woman for him. When you find yourself tempted to contact this married man, picture his wife’s tear-stained face coming to your door, and the temptation will ease.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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