Talk to theatre staff about bad actor’s behaviour

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This article was published 09/05/2023 (1200 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I like to go to the movie theatre during the day, totally alone. That way I can relax and focus on the movie. Ha! Not happening anymore. The last couple times a certain man has made his way across the theatre to sit two seats away from me! Then he strikes up a conversation over the empty seat before the movie is on.

I have tried to be pleasant and quietly respond to his questions. But, the last time I had to tell him, “Please! I want to watch the movie now!” He just kept talking.

I finally told him I was there to see the movie, not him. He called me a nasty name and moved to another row. I was so shocked by his behaviour I couldn’t enjoy the movie.

Now I feel uneasy going there by myself, but this is my special relax-and-recoup time. I live right near the theatre, and should not have to go across town to watch a movie! Why do certain men look at a woman like it’s their big chance to make a move, and then get upset when they’re turned down?

What should I do if he’s there again?

— Nervous to Go Back, St. James

Dear Nervous: You really should complain to theatre about this man’s inappropriate behaviour, so they can intervene. Call and talk to the manager about what’s happened with this man. They may already have an idea about him, as staff do watch the crowds. Theatres will not look the other way about behaviour like this.

In fact, if you have to leave a movie early because you’re unhappy with something about the screening or being bothered by someone, they will do something. They may refund your ticket money and also post somebody to watch for the person bothering you.

So, describe this man in detail and outline his behaviour and nasty response. Staff may already have a suspicion about him, and they may warn him or bar him from the venue.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve read in your column about friends being suddenly left behind — and never thought it would be me! I’ve always been the kind of person who’s there to help friends emotionally, financially or physically. And I’d never have thought that when I needed support, my best friend would not be there in return.

We live in a small town, and I have helped this friend numerous times. Yet, now that I’m healing from a broken limb and I’m no fun, she’s just disappeared. I heard yesterday via the grapevine that she’d recently sent “get-well dinners” to a new friend in our town she barely knows. Why not me, her so-called “close” friend of many years? I feel hurt, like I don’t matter. I want to let her know this, but then I think, “Why should I have to tell her? She has to know what she’s doing.”

Yesterday, she had the nerve to phone me to tap into my expertise on a special project she’s doing. I was short with her. Instead of sad, I felt angry, and wanted to tell her off. Is it time to end this friendship?

— Gathering Storm, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Storm: Sometimes friendships, just like dating situations, run their course. How can you ask a friend to care, when she obviously doesn’t anymore?

This friend has found an interesting new buddy, and shuffled you down the ladder. So, why not quietly demote her to “casual friend” and make room for a new close friend or two of your own?

You don’t have to call and formally break up the friendship — unless you really want to have it out with her. Then she may also have a few angry things to tell you that you won’t like. That could be good, or it could be bad. Maybe you need to know that information.

No matter what, you need to expand. Consider joining a new club or group to make some new friends, and see how that feels. It could be just what you need to get you over this hump.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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