Don’t just ignore wife’s exasperating ex-husband

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This article was published 14/05/2023 (1194 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife used to be somebody else’s spouse, and I just had the displeasure of meeting her jerk ex-husband at a large family gathering. He’d obviously received a mistaken invitation from my wife’s stupid younger sister, who made up the big guest list.

So, there was my wife’s ex-husband, with a hot-looking young woman wearing painted-on eyebrows, bright red lipstick and wild black hair, looking like a “rent-a-date.” I steered my wife to the opposite side of the party. He followed us there!

I turned around fast, and faced him. He was so startled he didn’t stick out his hand to shake, and he didn’t have a smart opening line either. Instead, he turned to my lady and barked at her, as if he owned her: “Who the f-— is this?”

I said: “If I were you, I’d leave.” Then he said, “You can’t make me!” like he was in grade school. I started to laugh and walked away with his beautiful ex-wife. He left the party a few minutes later.

The next day, he must have finally formed an idea in his dumb head! I started getting a lot of hang-up calls. I knew it was him, and somehow he’d gotten my cell number. Is blocking this weirdo enough?

— Steaming, St. Vital

Dear Steaming: It’s a mistake to keep an angry man’s secret move a secret while you wait for his next one.

This guy may not be any threat to your personal safety, but he might scratch your car with a key, or something equally sneaky. He needs to know someone with legal authority has been informed he may be up to mischief, punishable by law.

So, contact a lawyer ASAP and make a plan to deal with this situation, before your lady’s angry ex thinks you’re his sitting duck, and he’s free to do something worse.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My two teenagers give me serious lip, and talk down to me, like I’m too stupid for words. They also take $20 bills out of my purse, without asking. When their dad isn’t home, they have the nerve to call me by my first name, instead of Mom!

I say, “Let me remind you I am ‘Mom’ to you!” They say, “Riiiiight, Mother.”

Friends with cars pick them up, and they go out to party three or four nights a week. I recognize hangovers when I see them!

My boys are still in high school, and their grades are in the toilet. In fact, one or both may not pass this year. They could be in school one or two years after everybody else their age has graduated, at the rate they’re going.

Part of the reason they don’t care is they take it for granted they’ll go into their dad’s successful construction-related business after high school, and one day take it over. What they don’t know is their father plans on selling his business in the next couple of years. COVID was hard and my husband is so worn out, he wants to do something completely different, with a regular salary.

What can I do about this awful mess with our boys?

— Tearing My Hair Out, Winnipeg

Dear Tearing: Let these immature boys suffer the consequences of their behaviour. There are only a few weeks left to go in the 2023 school year, and they may fail some, or all, of their courses. Talk to your husband ASAP about what you see happening education-wise.

Also tell him in detail what the teenage boys have been doing to disrespect you. Don’t hide anything. Yes, your man is stressed, but you don’t need to carry this yourself. They are his sons, too!

Maybe real jobs in the labour world are what they need this summer, but not with their father. He probably knows people at other construction-related businesses that need entry-level labourers. There’s nothing like working a long, hot summer in the construction sector to sober up a couple of party boys with shaky educations.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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