Appeal to nostalgic sons’ sense of adventure

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/05/2023 (1244 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I just watched our last adult kid move out from under our roof. Both of our boys have now moved in with their girlfriends.

Last weekend we had them all over, and I announced I will soon retire and informed them we’re selling the big family home, and buying a condo. Our boys flipped out, the big babies!

They whined about “selling off the house that holds all their old memories.” I told them we plan to travel a lot more, and they continued to sulk.

After our boys left, their softhearted mother turned to me and said, “Maybe we shouldn’t sell the house after all.”

I can’t speak, I’m so annoyed! We can’t travel freely and also support a house with five bedrooms, a pool and a huge garage, and she knows that. Help!

— Retirement Planning Hassle, Tuxedo

Dear Retirement Hassle: Have lunch with the overgrown boys and mention the amazing travel destinations where they and their sweethearts can travel to visit you and stay free (at least for a time or two). Let them know that possibility starts to become a reality as soon as you unload the big house for a good price.

Then mention the figures big family homes with pools like yours are going for, and watch the wheels start turning in their heads. Your heirs may not be all that nostalgic for long!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is bold about liking other women’s sexy photos on Instagram. We all know there are plenty of pictorial “thirst traps” online for desperate guys. I can’t help but feel a little disrespected when my boyfriend, who is treated like a king by me, is “liking” all their hot photos.

I don’t feel jealousy about the famous women he follows — he isn’t about to get asked out on a date by Cardi B! But, I hate, hate, hate it when he’s “liking” and “following” random women whose accounts are 100 different pictures of their bodies.

I feel disrespected. Does he think he might be able to get with these girls? Am I wrong in the way I feel?

— Almost Had Enough, Wolseley

Dear Almost Had Enough: Your boyfriend is delighting in making you jealous. Do you think for one minute he’d put up with you showing him nude shots of men you like the look of, and have actually “liked” and commented on? The reason you feel disrespected by him, is because you have been!

Showing you these basically nude photos may have been his way of trying to break away from you. Either that, or he’s trying to figure out exactly what he can get away with, if he stays.

He’s bad news! There are much better guys who’d be respectful to you, and not subject you to the humiliation of seeing a parade of other women and their naked photos. It’s time you did whatever’s necessary to break away. Don’t feel you have to be fair, as he certainly isn’t.

Just don’t break up with him in person, as he seems to be able to talk you into sticking around. If you simply can’t break it off, see a relationship counsellor to help you set yourself free from this unhealthy relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 25, and on the floor in shock. I just got dumped for a teenager! My girlfriend of seven years has left me to date a 19-year-old guy. What are they even going to talk about? He’s a competitive weightlifter, with a “job” at a gym.

And to think I loved her, and was going to ask her to marry me this summer! I told her that, and she didn’t even believe me. She said, “I spent seven long years with you, and not a word about having a family and marrying me.”

I loved her and always thought we’d end up getting married someday, but I had too much pride to tell her that! What’s her problem? Help me find a way to get off the floor.

— Is Life Just a Bad Joke? Selkirk

Dear Bad Joke: Her problem? Seven years is a long time to take up in a woman’s life with no mention of a “Big M” commitment. Maybe her new younger man is crazy in love with her, and not afraid of marriage and kids.

How serious are you? Even when your ex flaunted her new relationship in front of you, there was no hint of you rallying, buying her a ring and competing with the young guy. Methinks you’re not that deeply in love, and this is more a case of hurt pride.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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