Best to pull up stakes, move on from camping fanatic

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/04/2023 (1277 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hate camping with my boyfriend, and he wants to book some special “lots” in the bush, before they’re all gone. When I was a kid, my family went camping a lot, and my parents fought the whole time! Last summer, my guy and I went camping six times, and and ended up fighting the entire weekend on five out of the six occasions, but who’s counting.

I know camping means a lot to my boyfriend, but I don’t want to fight with him in the heat every weekend, and if he went with friends, I’d be happy just to stay home. I know he’d be roaring mad about it though.

How can I let him down gently? I suspect he’s not “the one,” as he wants to keep camping, for life.

— Not a Happy Camper, Bridgwater

Dear Not Happy: You’ve oddly been copying the behaviour you hated in your mother and father’s camping experiences — fighting all the time in the sweltering heat. It seems these hot summer experiences served as a stage for your parents to loudly express a lot of pent-up anger and frustration with each other.

Good news! I’d estimate about half the male population really doesn’t care for camping, as it’s just too much work. It’s time to say goodbye to “Camping Guy” and get out of your pattern. Actively look for a guy who hates camping. Ask any prospective date, right up front: “How do you feel about camping?” If he says, “I hate it!” then go on that date and see how things work out.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to start dating a girl like me. I’m somewhat secretly into females and I’ve dated a little bit with friends of my brothers, and I liked them alright, but they didn’t turn me on at all. All my life, I’ve secretly preferred female friends to guys.

Now I’m 17, and ready to come out. But who do I tell, and when? I know this one girl who’s “out” and her family and friends know, and are OK with it. I know she likes me, because she gives me secret smiles and has winked at me twice.

If I start seeing her specially, should it be in secret? I don’t think she’d like to do that, because her family and friends accept her without secrecy. Please help.

— Coming Out Soon, Winnipeg

Dear Coming Out Soon: You may be coming out in a hurry if you start by seeing a girl who’s accustomed to being out. It’d be smart to pave the way by talking openly with the people you love and are closest to, like one parent or both, and a close brother as well. They may have already guessed you’re more interested in girls than guys. Moms particularly, are always observing their kids and know a lot more about them than the kids think.

You might also talk to a school counsellor about this. The more support you have in place, the easier it will be for you to live your life, particularly the romantic relationship part, the way you really want.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve lost a lot of weight and look pretty different to my old self — a lot healthier — but I’m afraid to buy new clothes out of fear that I’ll put all the weight back on. I know that sounds stupid, but I did that once before. What is your advice for a guy who has lost weight, but has not automatically gained in confidence?

— To Buy Clothes or Not, Westwood

Dear To Buy or Not: If you buy three or four new outfits you really like, it’ll help you feel more confident, and that will help you avoid overeating. On the other hand, if you’re wearing baggy clothes, just begging to be filled up, you’ll be more tempted to eat the foods that will cause that.

Now that the weather has improved and the wet ground is drying, consider corralling a friend (or more) into a daily running group that will burn off calories, and help you keep the weight off permanently.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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