DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I are in our early 30s and have been married for eight years. I’m getting tired of her antics and I’m thinking about calling it off now.

She isn’t a bad person, but she’s a mooch. She makes a good salary, but always wants to borrow money from me and gets angry if I grumble.

She also drives me crazy when she talks in a baby voice. When we’re out with friends, she likes to do anime poses and voices. At first, I thought it was cute, but no longer. She’s doing it way too much.

She used to be involved in theatre, but didn’t make it anywhere past high school productions, and it’s obvious why.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just spent a weekend at a lake with some of my wild and crazy girlfriends, and we fell in love with it. At the end, the owner said somebody had backed out of their July reservation and he offered me — the obvious leader of the pack — the opportunity to rent it again for two weeks.

I put full money down as soon as I got back home. Then I invited my boyfriend to spend a one-week romantic holiday with me as my first guest. I told him it was a gorgeous little lake unspoiled by a lot of campers. He said, “Yeah, but there’d be no casino at that outpost. I’d be bored to tears.”

And that was that.

I’m keeping it anyway for the two weeks, and planning for a roster of friends to visit. And now, my boyfriend’s shirt is in a knot. “What am I supposed to do with myself for your two-week holiday?” he asked me, referring to sex, his only activity besides eating and gambling.