DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve been living far away from my ex-girlfriend and loving the peace and privacy it affords. She’s a pushy woman and has her own business in Saskatchewan. She’s doing great and has even bought a house near her family. I hope she just stays there.

Originally, she had expected me to join her there after I graduate at the end of this school year. Then last fall I met a beautiful woman here in Manitoba. She’s the best — the one I really want to marry and she wants me, too, if I can only shake off my ex, who is still a problem.

She is really pestering me, and last night she threatened to call my new girlfriend to tell her to back off. To be honest, she scares me these days.

I wonder if I should try to hurry up a marriage with my new love. That would get my ex off my case, and my new girlfriend and I are both deeply in love with each other. What do you think?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My house, attic and garage are filling up with plants, which is exactly what I love. Spring is coming and they are all my babies and I enjoy keeping them warm in my heated spaces.

I spend a lot of money and a lot of time with them. My boyfriend thinks it’s a bunch of nonsense.

Recently, I get the feeling we’re losing ground in this romance, and I wonder if I should just chuck it. I get even more involved with the plants and garden and landscaping as spring progresses and summer arrives.

The problem is, he’s the best guy I’ve ever had, and I haven’t had many. Should I try to hang on to him because, as he says, “I’m more important than a bunch of stupid plants”?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My six-foot-three boyfriend eats like a horse. If I ate as much as he does, I would weigh 300 pounds. Sometimes I’m so surprised watching him, I just stop eating, mid-chew.

My mother is amazed when he comes over for Sunday dinner, especially after a sports practice. When she counts up how many people are coming to eat, she counts him as two people.

Frankly, half the time I don’t know whether I’m bragging or complaining about him. His mother says it cost her a fortune to feed him as a teenager when he was playing on several teams at once. It was a big relief to the family food budget when he finally moved out.

She says it would cost a lot to marry him and have sons who eat like him, but I like his giant size. I get a little thrill when he picks me up and carries me upstairs to bed at his place. It’s OK to be in love with a giant. But when ignorant people say we look funny together, I don’t know what to say to them. Please advise.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bisexual woman and an only child. Right now, I’m seeing a guy and my mother is cheering because it looks serious and she hopes for a grandchild from me soon. I dated several women before this relationship.

Mom hopes all this “nonsense” about my being bisexual will disappear in a whirl of hormones with this great new guy around. Who knows? She might just get her wish for a grandkid, but that won’t change the fact I can be bowled over by a woman.

My new guy is a very confident type and he says, regarding marriage to a bisexual woman, “Let’s give it a whirl and see where it goes.” He also thinks he can beat out any woman in a contest for me.

He doesn’t realize it’s two very different competitions.

MOON ALERT: Avoid shopping (except food and gas) and important decisions from 6:15 a.m. until 9:30 a.m. After that, the moon moves from Cancer into Leo.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

This is a good day for you, especially if you work in the arts, the entertainment world, sports or education. However, it’s also a playful, fun-loving day. It’s Friday and you can choose your own adventure. Enjoy socializing. Meet the gang for happy hour.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband died and I wish him well in his new realm.

We grew apart after our kids left home, and both of us made different “friends” of the opposite sex. But now, the exciting man I’ve been seeing for a few years has lost his wife. He’s lonely in his big family house and says he wants us to live together.

There’s a big problem. I’m not excited about playing old-fashioned wife as his spouse did happily, as he worked overtime and brought in a lot of money for them to spend. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I always had a weekly cleaning lady come in and sent out the laundry.

Neither this guy, nor I, want to throw our money together, but we’re considering moving into a 55-plus block, and maybe into two suites, because what if we split up while living there? Then suddenly one person wouldn’t have a home anymore.

MOON ALERT: There are no restrictions to shopping or important decisions. The moon is in Cancer.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

You can make excellent home improvements because you’re enthusiastic and people are willing to get on board with your plans. They can’t resist your impulse to think big. Plus, enthusiasm is contagious.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new boyfriend is a practical joker. At first, I thought it was fun — but then nothing was ever aimed at me. We were having a lot of laughs, admittedly at other people’s expense, so it was fine.

But then he went too far. He hid a long-legged, wiry-haired stuffed monster under his bed covers. He took me in there without turning on the light — ostensibly to have sex. I hopped under the covers without looking, put my feet down under the sheets, and felt the “monster” on my bare legs. I shrieked and jumped out of the bed, and had tears streaming down my cheeks.

He laughed and laughed, and thought it was just hilarious to see me upset and freaking out. I screamed at him and told him he was acting like a creepy 12-year-old in a grown man’s body and I wanted nothing more to do with him. I booked a ride immediately to go home and left.

Now he keeps calling and calling saying I was overreacting. I just hang up. What do you think?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Last weekend I told my boyfriend loudly, “Back off!” at a romantic movie we went to see. I won’t be doing this with him anymore, as it gives him a big thrill to try his own sexy moves during the screening. I don’t find his grabby hands a turn-on when I’m trying to watch a movie we paid good money to see!

What is wrong with the man? I just want to eat snacks, drink my beverage and enjoy the actors on the silver screen. Finally, I told him to get lost and I totally broke up with him on the way home to my place, but he keeps phoning and phoning. What should I say to him now?

— So Turned Off, St. James

Dear Turned Off: The fact he was pestering you for sexual action at the movie is a sign he may be wishing he was the star of his own erotic flick. He’s just going to end up getting thrown out of the theatre.