Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I are in love, living together — a deeply committed couple who’d like to go travelling. She wants to quickly get married before we do that, “because of less trouble crossing borders.” I think that’s NOT a very romantic reason for getting married!

Now she’s upset and questioning why she’s even “just living” with me! I don’t know what to say. I just don’t want to get married unromantically, for travel’s sake. It’s a feeling deep in my gut. What do you think? — Romantic Canadian Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Romantic Canuck: There are cracks growing in your relationship right now as expressed by your girlfriend, who’s questioning why you’re “just living together.”

Could you do some Canadian exploration together for now, and test out how you travel longer-term as a couple — and then decide on marriage, before you consider leaving the safety of this modern country?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I received an angry, old-fashioned breakup letter from my boyfriend today with “What I should have sent you” printed on the envelope. It was a nasty followup to a kinder text message he sent me the day before with some of his regrets about the two of us and about himself.

This one listed all my faults — social, political, personal and sexual. I guess he had taken time to really dig around in his strange little mind. He’s definitely not short on cutting remarks.

I don’t know which of the two makes me madder. Should I respond to either?

— Shaking My Head, downtown Winnipeg

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend is a funny guy and has me in stitches all the time. But what doesn’t make me smile is the fact he has clumsy moves, sexually. When the sex doesn’t work out, things feel like they’re wearing pretty thin with him.

How do you teach a man things he should know already? I finally tried to teach him some moves I’d experienced with previous boyfriends, but he just looked at me with disgust and said, “Who taught you that?”

Do we even have a chance? I’m almost ready to give up on him, but he’s such a decent man, otherwise.

— Wearing Thin, downtown Winnipeg

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently forgot my girlfriend’s birthday and went to the bar with my friends instead. She phoned me at 10 p.m. and told me I was dumped. So, I got a little drunker and went over at midnight to her parents’ house where she lives and started singing Happy Birthday to her out on the front lawn!

Her dad came out and told me, “Get lost and never come back!” and that he was calling the cops next. My two buddies and I took off fast.

Now my girlfriend won’t even pick up the phone. It was just a little mistake. I really do love her! It was a bit late, but I put a stuffed animal and a card on her lawn last night saying I loved her. What can I do next?

— Blew It For Good? South St. Vital

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My son has just announced to us he fell in love with a special guy this summer, and it’s serious. My wife called me at work — the minute after he left our house from telling her.

We had strongly suspected our son was not straight, but we hadn’t really thought about how we’d feel if he found a guy he was serious about. Apparently that time has arrived. Now what? We don’t have any experience with gay people in our family and we really don’t want to blow it by being unintentionally rude.

— Gay Son’s Parents, St. James

Dear Son’s Parents: Your best reaction is a simple statement like this to your son: “We love you and we’ll definitely support you and the person you discover is right for you, loves you and treats you well.”

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I knew my girlfriend was a private nudist in her tiny house, but I thought she’d drop that whole crazy thing when she moved in with me to my big place with a pool.

Apparently, she thought I’d come over to her way of thinking and imagined we’d both walk around naked and have hooks by the front door with kimonos to grab in a hurry. But, no — that’s not happening.

Instead, she’s nude all the time and peeks her face around the door to see who’s on the doorstep. If it’s one of her nudist friends, she just opens the door wide and lets them in.

I got a laugh out of it when she first moved in but at this point, there have been more than a few delivery people come to the door, or one of my friends, and then I hear, “Hold on! Gotta get dressed!” yelled out the door. She’s basically telling them she’s naked — I don’t find that cute or funny.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A guy my age from Alberta contacted me though Facebook during a scary situation in my fire-threatened town in northern Manitoba, and asked very sympathetically about what I was going through at the time. We got really close during the worst of the fires, but now the extreme danger has passed in my area, he has just faded away from me, like I’m old news.

There’s no more sweet talk on the phone, no more comforting me and telling me he’d come to see me as soon as he can. I’m not the only woman in my area in this situation, either. A couple of my girlfriends basically got used for personal news reports and descriptions of the uncertain, terrifying experience.

These guys faded right out after the fires receded in our area. My guy was single (or so he says), but one of my girlfriend’s guys was married with a wife and four kids!

I think now my “hero” was getting off on my daily reports of the looming calamity. He was posting his Superman-style “I could save you” messages on Facebook to me, plus he made late-night phone calls.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My very new boyfriend of less than a month, who’s in his mid-30s, just heard from his ex-girlfriend that she thinks she’s pregnant with his child. He asked her for solid proof — like a note from her doctor with the results — but that’s not happening. I know she’s just playing with his emotions to get him back.

He’s always wanted children, so she’s working that angle as a last resort. But I know this woman is really in love with her career and she didn’t want any kids until she couldn’t try get him to stay with her any other way.

Her big blunder is she said he would just have to learn to enjoy his nephews and nieces and do more with them, as she wasn’t interested in being a mom. That’s when he finally broke things off with her.

He’s a successful man, but really wants his own kids to raise.