Scare up some social reconnection this fall

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an emotional mess. My lesbian girlfriend and I broke up in August, and now I hold the lease on the apartment we shared. It’s a great big old place with two spacious balconies.

I just got new roommates — two younger friends who really love it here — but secretly I’m still feeling lonely. Every minute of living here reminds me of my girlfriend because we decorated the place together and hung out on the balconies to sunbathe in the summer.

Would it help to move out of my beloved old block with its memory triggers? Maybe, but what if I died of loneliness in a new place? I need people around me, and no one but my ex-girlfriend has really been the right person. Please help. I feel sick about this.

— Love-Nest Sadness, Winnipeg

Dear Love-Nest Sadness: You sound like a sociable person, but you’ve been living as a poverty-stricken soul in terms of love and friendship since August. It’s time to fix that.

A Halloween costume party could work out well in your big apartment, and it could be even more fun if you and your roommates worked together on it. At this point, it’s really not about looking for new romance for you. This fall for you should be about laughing again and having fun with friends old and new.

If word gets out and your ex hears about the fabulous party you’re planning for Halloween and asks to come either alone or with a new babe, your answer should be a quiet but firm, “No, but maybe next year when I’ll also be in love with a new partner.” Nothing like getting a little dig in.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don’t want to go on a winter holiday to a beach on the ocean — I want to go skiing, possibly even in Europe.

However, my new love partner, who is also a newcomer to Canada, is feeling overly cautious. He doesn’t have any experience of travelling anywhere past the city limits in winter and worries it might involve taking too many chances. He’s also fearful of the political unrest in other parts of the of the world, as if it wasn’t bad enough here in North America.

I don’t want to live that way — in fear of what might happen around us. Let’s live it up. So for now, my man and I have agreed on a winter ski holiday. I want to book before all the good skiing spots and great hotels are taken, but he wants to research the heck out of everything. How can I get him to commit to a quick and solid booking? All the good ones will be taken by the time he makes up his mind.

— Annoyed Already, Selkirk

Dear Annoyed: The more carefree times of playing “spin the globe and we’ll go travelling” have passed in many parts of the world, at least for the time being. Being a smart traveller who does thorough research to find places that are safe and fabulous is a wise move these days. So why not team up and help your man learn what all the different ski destinations have to offer and maybe you can even help speed the process along.

You might even consider a ski holiday in Western Canada that could involve a romantic, scenic train ride through the Rockies. Good luck planning your adventure.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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