See silver lining to your impossible crush

Maureen Scurfield Miss Lonelyhearts
By: Maureen Scurfield Posted:

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with my sister’s boyfriend, and neither one of them knows it. They’re both grad students and came back home from the province where they are studying to write and spend the summer in Manitoba.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with my sister’s boyfriend, and neither one of them knows it. They’re both grad students and came back home from the province where they are studying to write and spend the summer in Manitoba.

Thankfully, they’ve gone back home because it was becoming too much for me to bear. My sister’s guy is perfect for me, but she already owns him and I’m too young to fight her for him.

Still, the two of them don’t realize the depth of my feelings. I don’t know how to behave when they get cosy around me and I feel so jealous I want to scream. I’m not sure what to do next.

This week I got an email from my artsy-fartsy sister with an invitation to come visit them in December and go to some fun plays and parties with them and their friends. They even promised my Christmas present from them will be my plane ticket.

Should I say no? I don’t think I could bear watching the two of them at Christmas kissing and hugging and giving presents to each other.

— Three’s a Crowd, Winnipeg

Dear Three’s a Crowd: It’s painful when you want the fairy-tale romance your sister has — with the same man. The hopeful part is you have faced this problem already and realize you cannot steal your sister’s man and know it would a very bad idea to try.

To let things cool down a bit, why not postpone the holiday trip and instead visit the two of them in the new year for some of the same fun outings.

As painful as it may seem now, you’re lucky to have identified the type of partner you want. That’s the first step to finding a great love. Perhaps some of the guys in your sister’s new social circle could possess some of the same characteristics as her boyfriend you’ve coveted. Good luck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s high time for my new wife to go back to work and for our dog to head to a doggie daycare.

My wife doesn’t see things that way, though. She’s already changed so much since our summer wedding. We’ll never pay off all of our wedding expenses this year to save up enough money to start a family if she doesn’t get her beautiful bottom back to full-time work, earning the solid salary she can command.

She’s been leaning on me financially since our July wedding and August honeymoon at the lake. Now she just loves sitting around at home baking cakes and watching TV. She wasn’t like this before we got married. She was industrious and independent.

She really doesn’t seem to care anymore about making money or even spending it. She just stays home. Boring.

What’s really going on? I think she secretly hopes to get pregnant right away, but it’s too soon for me.

— How to Get Her Off Her Butt? East Kildonan

Dear Get Her Off Her Butt: Preface an upcoming showdown with, “I love you and I don’t ever want to let you go, but we have a dangerous problem festering here.” Spell out your finances in detail, wrapping up with a short list of what the two of you need to take care of in a hurry.

If that gets you nowhere, tell your mate you’re ready to make an appointment with a relationship counsellor and go without her if need be. That will get her out in a hurry. She’ll surely want to be there to represent herself, and not have you complaining about her behind her back.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Related Articles

Don’t let pyjama jibes sour your bedtime bond Scare up some social reconnection this fall Three could prove an awkward crowd May be whiff of truth to ex’s odour ardour You’re a solid, loyal sister, so worry not Face up to fact you blew it with ex-wife

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Advertisement Advertise With Us

Report Error Submit a Tip

Advertisement

Learn more about Winnipeg Free Press Advertising solutions

More Stories

Several hundred people gather around the Centennial flame for a candle light vigil to remember those killed on Ukraine International Airlines Flight on Thursday January 9, 2020 in Ottawa. Among the many painful details that have emerged about the downed airliner in Iran is the preponderance of young victims, and their deaths have sent waves of grief through schools and university campuses across the country. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld

Experts urge frank, empathetic talk with young mourners

Cassandra Szklarski, The Canadian Press 5 minute read Preview

Experts urge frank, empathetic talk with young mourners

Cassandra Szklarski, The Canadian Press 5 minute read Friday, Jan. 10, 2020

TORONTO - Among the many painful details that have emerged about downed Ukraine International Airlines Flight PS752 is the preponderance of young victims, and their deaths have sent waves of grief through schools and university campuses across the country.

Young people attempting to process such senseless tragedy can vary wildly in their understanding of mass violence, say grief experts.

Confusion, rage, despondency, withdrawal and fear are some of the things parents and caregivers may see to various degrees in young children, grade-schoolers and adolescents, says Leeat Granek, who encourages families to offer frank but empathetic conversations about death in times like these.

"With all children of all ages, being open and honest and very clear is very, very, very important," says Granek, a health psychologist and associate professor at York University's school of health policy and management.

Read
Friday, Jan. 10, 2020
Free Press files Mayor Scott Gillingham has so far stayed out of the fray of insinuations and allegations made by challengers in the current election campaign.

All sideshow, little substance

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

All sideshow, little substance

Editorial 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Well, there’s one thing that can be said about Winnipeg’s 2026 mayoral race that sets it apart from most previous campaigns for city council’s top position:

It isn’t boring.

In most civic elections, the power of incumbency and/or familiarity gives one mayoral candidate such a profound advantage that the outcome is all but a foregone conclusion and the lead-up to voting day becomes both uninteresting and largely irrelevant.

This year’s race, to the contrary, has been noteworthy for the unusual level of friction, controversy and mud-slinging that has been injected into the early part of the campaign.

Read
2:00 AM CDT
FILE - A man walks out of a Marc's Store, Friday, Jan. 8, 2021, in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. Fewer Americans applied for unemployment benefits last week, lowering claims to 900,000, still a historically high level that points to further job cuts in a raging pandemic. (AP Photo/Tony Dejak, file)

US jobless claims drop; still at 847,000 as pandemic rages

Paul Wiseman, The Associated Press 4 minute read Preview

US jobless claims drop; still at 847,000 as pandemic rages

Paul Wiseman, The Associated Press 4 minute read Thursday, Jan. 28, 2021

WASHINGTON - The number of Americans applying for unemployment benefits fell but remained at a historically high 847,000 last week, a sign that layoffs keep coming as the coronavirus pandemic continues to rage.

Last week’s claims dropped by 67,000, from 914,000 the week before, the Labor Department said Thursday. Before the virus hit the United States hard last March, weekly applications for jobless aid had never topped 700,000.

Tempering last week's bigger-than-expected drop in claims: The four-week moving average — which smooths out week to week gyrations — rose by more than 16,000 last week to 868,000, highest since September.

Overall, nearly 4.8 million Americans received traditional state unemployment benefits the week of Jan. 16. That is down from nearly 5 million the week before and far below a staggering peak of nearly 25 million in May when the virus brought economic activity to a near halt. The drop suggests that some of the unemployed are finding new jobs and that others have exhausted state benefits.

Read
Thursday, Jan. 28, 2021
MIKAELA MACKENZIE / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS - newspapers running off the presses in the Free Press pressroom September 2018

Massive challenges in the media landscape have not altered the enduring Free Press mission

Melissa Martin  6 minute read Preview

Massive challenges in the media landscape have not altered the enduring Free Press mission

Melissa Martin  6 minute read Thursday, Oct. 4, 2018

You never forget the first time you see the newspaper presses, these vast mechanical maws roaring like jet engines, gobbling up raw newsprint and transforming it into something to be held and opened and savoured. 

The sound seems to fill up your ears, your lungs, your bones. A working song, mechanical, magnificent. 

The sadness is that one day, those presses will probably fall silent. There’s no telling exactly when. Only that the march to digitize our culture is not slowing, and someday all the news there is to read will wink out from a screen.

When the presses fall silent, so too will the small pleasures of many consecutive generations. The mingling smells of ink and coffee; the sound of sparrow song, accompanied by the rustle of a morning paper; and the feel of it all. 

Read
Thursday, Oct. 4, 2018

Manitoba spends, what comes next?

Rafiq Andani 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Whatever Manitobans think of this government’s health-care record, its willingness to spend is impressive. The promise to rebuild care has inspired a massive mobilization of public money.

Health, Seniors and Long-Term Care spending reached $9.66 billion in 2025-26. Next year’s budget allocates $10.59 billion, an almost 10 per cent increase above last year’s actual spending, following increases of approximately 5.6 and 6.8 per cent in the preceding years. The government has found room for another $931 million in a single year.

That allocation stands roughly $2 billion above spending in 2023-24, the year the government changed, and represents an increase of nearly one-quarter. At $10.59 billion, the budget amounts to approximately $29 million a day.

Let’s consider the province’s reported additions and funding commitments:

See silver lining to your impossible crush

Maureen Scurfield 4 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with my sister’s boyfriend, and neither one of them knows it. They’re both grad students and came back home from the province where they are studying to write and spend the summer in Manitoba.

Thankfully, they’ve gone back home because it was becoming too much for me to bear. My sister’s guy is perfect for me, but she already owns him and I’m too young to fight her for him.

Still, the two of them don’t realize the depth of my feelings. I don’t know how to behave when they get cosy around me and I feel so jealous I want to scream. I’m not sure what to do next.

This week I got an email from my artsy-fartsy sister with an invitation to come visit them in December and go to some fun plays and parties with them and their friends. They even promised my Christmas present from them will be my plane ticket.