You’re a solid, loyal sister, so worry not

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into my sister’s husband at the bar recently. He was drinking with a bunch of people from his work. I noticed he was sitting close to a young woman, with his arm around her.

I just nodded without a smile as I slowly passed them. I kept on going, but he knew I saw them together. A few minutes later he came over — obviously drunk — and said, “You’re a good girl! You won’t say anything to your sister, will you?” Ha! I looked at him and said, “Of course I’m going to say something!”

My loyalty will always be to my sister. I phoned my sis in my car and blabbed. She tried to laugh it off, but she’s gone silent since — not answering my calls or messages. So apparently now I’m the troublemaker? That’d be just her style! What should I do?

— Worried About Us, North Kildonan

Dear Worried: Even though your sister appeared to laugh off the report, you can bet she didn’t keep that information to herself and her husband heard about it big time when he got home!

You may not be very popular with him — depending on if or how they worked it out, but you did what loyal sisters do. Don’t worry too much over this.

Some people are quite chummy with work pals, and when they go out drinking together, they get chummier. Sitting there with an arm around a co-worker in public doesn’t mean these two are necessarily having an affair. In fact, if they were, they’d probably be pretending to be less cosy out in public.

So, try to work your way back to sisterly friendship again by doing active fun things together like going to concerts she’d like — and you can buy the tickets to the first couple of gigs. Good luck with this — sisters are precious.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently threw up in a restaurant beside the table after the appetizer, and felt mortified! But I immediately felt much better once it was over, and a staffer rushed out with a mop to clean it up. I went to clean myself up and wanted to stay for my dinner.

But, no! The restaurant owner rushed over with a big gift certificate for the two of us, and guided us to the door and out. We had no choice. Wasn’t that unfair?

— Feeling Cheated, South End

Dear Feeling Cheated: You got the offending food up and out of your tummy — and were ready to try again. That was sporting of you, but you can bet nobody else in the room wanted to experience a possible Round 2.

The owner needs to tend to everybody’s feelings. A patron who vomits is usually feeling embarrassed enough that they really don’t want to stay for the inevitable stares. They either want to go right home or stop at a drive-thru for something light.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just moved back to Winnipeg, and I saw the first love of my life driving her little truck. I took it as a sign and phoned her mother who I used to be close with, to get her current number. She said, “I’m sorry, but she got married to her new partner, just recently!

I gulped and said, “Oh, do I know him?” and she said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but her partner is a woman with kids, and they are very happy together.” I’ve been walking around since then in shock. I had no idea my ex would desire a woman! I have so many questions I want to ask her, like “When did you know?” and “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were bisexual?” How should I handle this?

— Shocked Ex-Boyfriend, North End

Dear Shocked: If you call this married ex-love of yours and pepper her with questions that sound like accusations, she may just go into overload and hang up in your ear. You might want to go over and have a chat with her mom first, and then take some time to let the new information settle before you call your ex.

At this point she doesn’t need to face questions such as “How long have you known?” and “Why didn’t you tell me before?” or “Why did you waste my time?”

You might also want to talk this out with a wise friend or a counsellor, and get the confused and upset feelings out before you meet with your ex-love for a little talk.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.